Heroes
by 6footer
Summary: Season 2 AU. Ryan and Trey are attacked. Trey is killed, Ryan is beaten. Ryan becomes vulnerable and needy, shocking the Cohens. Can Ryan overcome the loss and take down the bad guys without hurting anyone else? Can the Cohens get the old Ryan back?R&RPLZ
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, here it is, it's short but I'm just seeing how you like it**... **The chapts will get longer from here out if i continue(i probably will). Trey is AU not as gruff as in the show and takes care of himself and stays out of trouble. AU early season 2.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. or its characters. **

**Warning! Not beta'd and no Medical degree so bare with me**

**Enjoy and Review!  
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There was so much blood; Ryan couldn't believe all the blood that was on him. He didn't know what was his and what blood was Trey's. He was sitting in Trey's puddle of blood, shocked at the sight before him. Trey protecting him had finally ran out, he was dead. He died protecting Ryan.

_The two of them had been walking back from having dinner. Trey had invited him to dinner to celebrate his first paycheck, he was buying. They were in front of Trey's apartment, the night was over, and they were saying goodbye. That's when the two guys showed up, Ryan had never seen them before but Trey seemed like he had. He said something about being out and Ryan figured they were from prison. Ryan stayed out of the way as they talked with Trey and then all off a sudden they pulled out guns and were pointing them at Ryan. They yelled something about money and being rich, but Ryan just stared at Trey who was trying to calm the guys down._

_ "Guy, guys, I'll get you your money, just leave Ryan and the Cohens out of it," Trey pleaded._

_ They weren't buying it though and then the one closest to Trey, shot Ryan in the left arm, scrapping it. Ryan turned and clinched his arm as more shots went off. Before long they were telling Ryan that he didn't remember what the two looked like and if he did they would do the same to the rest of his family. Then they proceeded to beat the shit out of Ryan, punching him until he was down and then kicking him while he was down. After about ten minutes and once Ryan was unconscious they ran off. Once he came back in to consciousness, Ryan sat up and looked at Trey, he was dead and blood was pouring out of him like it was nothing. He was shot in the head and in the chest. Trey was dead._

Ryan was brought out of his flashback when someone tapped his shoulder and made him jump.

"Kid, are you alright? What happened here?" a man asked as he bent down in front of Ryan but not in the blood. Ryan looked around to see police cars, ambulances, police barricades, and crime scene tape. Ryan hadn't even noticed when they all showed up. He figured someone heard shots and called 911. Ryan thought it had been only a couple of minutes since he carefully sat up and checked to see if Trey was really dead. But from the sight around him, all the people and even reporters told him it had been a lot longer.

"Kid, I'm Detective Mark James, what's your name?" it was the guy again, he hadn't moved but Ryan had forgotten about him.

Ryan looked at him but the detective could tell he wasn't exactly looking at him, his eyes were empty and scared, and he wasn't really looking anywhere at all.

"Ryan," it was barely audible but the detective heard him.

"Ryan, can you tell me what happened?" Detective James asked.

Ryan just sat there staring at nothing; he closed his eyes and started shaking his head. Ryan didn't want to think about it anymore, even though he was sitting in it.

"It's okay, kid, its okay. How do you know him, Ryan?" James asked as he carefully pulled Ryan to his feet and walked him away from the scene.

"He's my… He… ah… was… my brother," Ryan replied as they walked up to paramedics. Ryan wasn't exactly sure of what was happening. He just wanted Trey back and he wanted the Cohens to take him home.

"How old are you kid? What are your parents' names?" he asked as he put his notebook away after he set Ryan down on the steps of the ambulance.

"16… ah… Sandy and Kirsten Cohen," Ryan replied as the paramedics sat down next to him.

"Alright, Detective, our turn, you can continue your report after Ryan is treated at the hospital," the female paramedic said as Detective James stepped back.

"Okay, Ryan, I'm Abby and this is Mike. We're going to check you and then get you to the hospital, just relax and let us do what we do best," the lady said as the two turned to Ryan.

After Ryan didn't respond or move they helped him up into the back and sat him down on the gurney to look over his injuries. Ryan just sat there until they gently made him lay back. They rattled off things that Ryan didn't understand and wasn't listening to. He was just thinking about Trey and the unbelievable pain shooting through his body.

"Alright, Ryan, we are going to put some gauze on your arm to help the bleeding, it is going to be a little tight and it's going to hurt," the male paramedic said for the first time as Ryan came back into focus after Mike flashed a light in his eyes.

Ryan nodded as he braced himself for more pain. Mike wrapped his arm and Ryan flinched and gasped in pain as his eyes flew open.

"I know, bud, but we'll get you fixed up at the hospital, it's just a scrape, but it is deep, you'll need stitches," Mike said as Abby started to do something else. Mike tried to make him feel better as tears started to roll down his cheeks

"Alright, Ryan, we're going to get you to the hospital, but you have to stay awake for me, can you do that for me?" Abby asked in a sweet voice.

Ryan opened his eyes and nodded.

"Good, now can you tell me where it hurts, other than your arm?" Abby asked smiling. Ryan thought she smiled like Kirsten, it was nice. He felt bad for putting the Cohens through this.

"Ryan?" she asked again.

Ryan then realized he had a killer headache above his right eye; he lifted his hand to find out what was wrong. But half way there Abby grabbed his right wrist and put his hand back down.

"Sorry, Ryan, you don't want to touch it, you have a nasty gash. Does it hurt?" Abby said as she buckled Ryan to the gurney. Ryan thought it was a dumb question but wasn't going to say anything.

Ryan nodded and closed his eyes, he didn't like this, and he wanted Kirsten and Sandy even if they didn't want him.

"Remember Ryan, you have to stay awake for me. Let me see those beautiful blue eyes of yours, come on," if Ryan didn't feel like crap and was stronger he would have been upset at the fact Abby was treating him like a child. But he didn't care tonight, he in fact had wished he was a child again then Trey would be here.

"What else hurts, honey?" Abby asked once he opened his eyes.

"Ever…everything," Ryan replied quietly.

"We're about five minutes out, Abby," Mike said from the driver seat.

"Hear that, Ryan? Mike says we're almost there and we'll get you all fixed up," Abby said smiling Kirsten's smile.

"I want Sandy and Kirsten," Ryan whispered with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sure Detective James had someone call them, you'll see them soon," Abby said sweetly.

Ryan didn't know what was going on, Abby and Mike had disappeared, he was sitting in a room in an immense amount of pain. The nurse was saying something about how they had to take pictures of his bruises before they could stitch him up. That was where Ryan was stuck; they said they had to undress him to see them all. But there was no way Ryan was going to let them do that. Ryan stood up, he wanted to leave. But the nurses and doctor weren't going to let him.

"What do you mean you don't have a Ryan Atwood? A detective called and said that our son was in the hospital and that we should get down to HOAG. Where is he?" Sandy was livid and highly confused.

Kirsten and Sandy had gotten a phone call that Ryan had been shot and that Trey was dead but that they would explain more once they arrived at the hospital. Though so far, they had gotten nowhere. Kirsten and Sandy had been arguing with the clerk for twenty minutes.

"Marie, are the Cohens here yet, that kid is really tearing that room apart in there," a nurse ran out of one of the exam rooms and the clerk and the Cohens turned to her.

"Yes, we are the Cohens? What's wrong with Ryan? Can we see him? Why wouldn't you let us see him?" Kirsten asked as the two Cohens rushed to the nurse's side.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, you are Ryan Cohen's parents, correct?" the nurse asked a little relieved.

"Yes, we're his foster parents, but his name is Ryan Atwood," Sandy replied, confused in how they got Ryan Cohen.

"Oh, I'm sorry, the paramedics that brought Ryan in just assumed that his last name was Cohen, because when the detective asked who his parents were he said your names. Then he asked for you again and we just assumed," the nurse apologized.

"No it's fine, how is Ryan though?" Sandy asked feeling sort of proud that Ryan had asked for them.

"Ah… not that great right about now. I'm going to warn you, he doesn't look the greatest, when he was attacked; the people beat him pretty badly, so I need you to be prepared. But I also need your help, because before we can sedate him and get him calmed down we need to take pictures of his bruises for the police report, which means… well you know and Ryan isn't too thrilled about that. But maybe if he seen you and you talked him down we could do it before he hurts himself more," the nurse explained as Kirsten and Sandy prepared for the worst.

"He's in shock, confused, and scared and he's asking for you two, he has a gash on his head that we need to stitch up and the bullet graze on his arm but we can't until we photograph him," she added as she led them to Ryan's room.

The nurse turned to them before opening the door, "I have to warn you, he has a lot of blood on him and we've discovered that most of it is from the other victim, the paramedics said he was sitting in his brother's blood when the police showed up, so just be prepared. That is why we also need to shower him off before we photograph him" she said and then the Cohens nodded and waited for the door to open.

When it did they were shocked at what they saw; the room was a mess and Ryan was huddled in the corner with tear streaks still on his face. Kirsten held in a gasp, Ryan looked so afraid and innocent; she had never seen him like that before.

Sandy had never seen the kid look so young; he always wondered what Ryan looked like when he was young, he seen pictures in Ryan's file. But he had never seen him like this.

"Ryan, honey, it's Kirsten and Sandy," Kirsten said as she and Sandy walked up to Ryan and knelt down.

Ryan was so glad to see them, he was so scared and he just wanted someone to protect him like Trey had for his whole life.

Ryan didn't say anything he just laid his head on Kirsten's shoulder and sobbed.

"It's okay, honey, everything is going to be okay," Kirsten said taken aback at Ryan's emotions but then put her arm around him and rubbed his back.

"Hey, kid, what happened in here?" Sandy asked as he rubbed Ryan's back too. They had never seen Ryan act like this, it frightened Sandy, for Ryan to be acting this way then he had to see something that he should never have seen.

"I want to go home," was all Ryan said as he turned to Sandy.

"I know, kiddo, but they have to fix you up and finish the report," Sandy replied sadly as he seen Ryan's face closer up.

"No, I won't let them… I won't let them… I don't want to," Ryan turned back to Kirsten and closed his eyes.

"But you have to, honey," Kirsten replied sweetly.

"Why? Why, do they even have to do that?" Ryan cried without opening his eyes, he didn't want to look at them; he didn't want to look at anybody. He just wished this night had never happened.

"Because, Ryan, to catch the guys that did this, they need evidence," Sandy said putting on his lawyer face.

"Ryan, honey, we'll help you, if you want… if you want us to stay anyway," Kirsten said carefully, not sure how Ryan would react.

Ryan didn't know if he wanted them there with him, well he wanted them there but he didn't know if he wanted them to help. He did want to keep some of his dignity but he didn't want them to leave him again.

Ryan nodded still without his eyes open, he felt Sandy squeeze his shoulder and then heard him get up, but Kirsten stayed still making small circles on his back.

"Alright, Ryan, are you ready now?" Ryan opened his eyes to see two nurses and Sandy standing in front of him. Ryan nodded and sat up as Sandy came over to help him to his feet.

"Okay, we'll let your parents help you get undressed down to your boxers, let them do it because of your arm, and shower you off. We'll be back in when they are done to take pictures," the older nurse said as Sandy put his arm around Ryan to steady him.

"Ah… Nurse, is it okay if my husband and I just do it, I think Ryan will be more comfortable that way," Ryan sighed in relief, he was so glad that Kirsten and Sandy talked for him sometimes, saying things he couldn't.

"Ah…sure, that would be fine, just let us know us know when you are done and we will get him stitched up and treated," the nurse that came and got them replied with a small smile and then they left.

Nothing was said when Sandy took off his boots or when Kirsten took off his shirt, sliding out his right arm then his head and the pulling the shirt off his left arm, being very careful the whole time. No jokes were made as Sandy undid his pants and slid them off. No one said anything, Ryan was so thankful that Kirsten and Sandy understood how embarrassing this was for him.

Kirsten covered her mouth as they stepped back and actually seen all the bruises. Ninety percent of Ryan's body was covered in them. It was crystal clear that he had a number of broken ribs.

Kirsten and Sandy were shocked; they had never seen something like this before. Ryan couldn't look at them he had picked a tile on the floor and fixed his eyes there.

"Oh Ryan, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, honey," Kirsten said as she walked back over to Ryan and warily wrapped him in a hug. Ryan eyes didn't leave the tile on the floor as he let his head rest on Kirsten's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, kid, we have to do this so they can treat you and get you better so we can go home," Sandy said as he walked over after he bagged Ryan's clothes in the evidence bags. Ryan closed his eyes, trying to shut out the world and keep in the tears.

"Ryan," Kirsten said and then kissed the top of his head, Ryan opened his eyes.

"Ryan, if it will be easier on you, just Sandy can take you to the shower. If that will make you feel better and I will just do paperwork that needs to be done," Kirsten said reading Ryan's weariness.

Ryan nodded; he figured being embarrassed in front of just Sandy would be a lot better than being embarrassed in front of Kirsten too.

He shut his eyes as tears escaped down his swollen cheeks.

"Alright, sweetie, I'm going to pass you off to Sandy and he's going to help you to the bathroom while I take your clothes to the nurses and fill out the paper work.

Ryan jumped into action; he could get to the bathroom himself. But as he stood up, he became dizzy and tottered a little bit. Both Sandy and Kirsten sprang to steady him each on both side of him.

**Hope you like it and I will like it if you all review, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long wait... had an injured arm and typing one handed is not fun. But here is chapter 2. Thanks for the reviews and the suggestions, but most of this story is already written. Thanks though.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with The O.C.**

**Warning: This chapter contains pure fluff as does much of this story!**

"Whoa, kiddo, how about you let us help you," Sandy said smiling as he tried to hide the worry that stretched through his body.

Sandy carefully put Ryan's right arm over his shoulders and then wrapped his own left arm around his waist as Ryan wrapped his left arm slowly around his stomach.

"Kirsten?" Ryan said stopping just before they entered the bathroom. He turned to Kirsten slowly but still held on to Sandy. Kirsten, who was still standing where she had handed Ryan off to Sandy, hurried to Ryan's side.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"You're… uh… you'll be… uh… I mean… y-you're c-coming ba… back, right?" Ryan asked looking at the ground and then finally up. He felt like such a wimp.

"Oh, sweetie, yes, I'll be here when you come out, of course. It'll be okay, baby," Kirsten said and then kissed his head again. "I'll be right here," she added as she stepped back. Ryan smiled shyly and turned back to the bathroom.

"I'm going to sit you down here while I turn on the water, alright," Sandy said softly as he guided Ryan to the toilet.

"Wh-why?" Ryan asked, with his eyes shut again, holding back tears.

"What, kiddo?" Sandy asked turning back to Ryan.

"Why? Why do we have to… to… Sandy, I want to go home… I just want to go home, please," Ryan said looking at Sandy who was kneeling in front of him now. Ryan closed his eyes again, unsuccessfully trying to hold back the tears. But the tears were flowing freely now. Sandy rubbed his arm and wiped away the tears.

"I know, buddy, I know, but we have to get the blood off, you'll get to go home once they've checked and treated you. Are you still in pain?" Sandy asked when Ryan opened his eyes again.

Ryan nodded and closed his eyes; "You probably think that I'm wimp, huh?" Ryan asked opening his eyes and looking at Sandy.

"No, kid, not at all… you've been through hell tonight… I would be worried if you were in pain and wanted to be left alone. No, kiddo, I think you are being quite brave. So how about we get this over and get you home," Sandy said and then patted Ryan's leg. Sandy was worried about Ryan's attitude; it was not Ryan at all. But that didn't mean Sandy didn't enjoy Ryan letting them take him, he just wished that Ryan was safe and that they didn't have to.

"I can do it, Sandy, please just let me," Ryan said looking up at Sandy.

Sandy's heart strings tugged at hearing the plea in Ryan's voice and seeing the cloudy effect that had filled Ryan's eyes. Sandy could tell Ryan was exhausted, and he had a right to be. He was shot, got the crap kicked out of him and destroyed a hospital room all in one night. The same night his brother was killed. Sandy understood why he was exhausted.

"Ryan, you're tired and you're not that steady on your feet, I don't think that is a good idea," Sandy said softly, he was still kneeling in front of Ryan.

"Please, Sandy, I can do it, please," Ryan said again.

Sandy had never seen Ryan like this. Ryan had never begged anyone for anything. Ryan had to be really upset if he was pleading with Sandy.

"*sigh*… alright… but I'm going to be right outside if you need me at all, just call and I'll be right in, okay?" Sandy sighed.

Ryan nodded but didn't meet Sandy's eyes.

"Ryan, I mean it, if you get dizzy or feel sick just call and I'll be in as soon as possible... if you can't do it, it's ok, just call," Sandy said putting his hand gently under Ryan's chin and lifting so their eyes would meet. "Okay?"

"Okay," Ryan nodded again.

"Alright, the water is ready, let me help you up and make sure you're steady," Sandy said as he stood.

Ryan sat up as straight as he could. 'Nice and slow' he thought as he braced himself and prepared to stand. He pushed himself up, ready and waiting for the dizziness. Sandy had his arms out ready to catch Ryan if he stumbled. Ryan froze a minute waiting and gaining his balance.

"You good?" Sandy asked with a hand on his back and a soothing voice.

"Yeah," Ryan nodded.

"Alright... just rinse the blood off and then put your boxers back on and call me, I'll come in and get you. Do not leave this bathroom without me. If you need me at all just yell, I promise, Ryan, I'll be here," Sandy tried to make it clear to Ryan without being too firm.

"I will, Sandy… I promise," Ryan said quietly and gave Sandy a side glance.

"Okay, kid, I'll leave you to it, but I'll be back in here in 5 minutes to check on you," Sandy said with a small smile and his hand still on Ryan's back.

Ryan nodded and Sandy's hand dropped.

Sandy looked over Ryan once more before sighing and leaving the room.

Sandy stepped out and shut the door, leaning against it with a heavy sigh.

_'Why Ryan? Hasn't he been through enough?'_ Sandy thought to himself as he closed his eyes. He didn't know how they were going to get Ryan through this one. They would, he just didn't know how at that moment they would. He would have to talk to Kirsten when they got Ryan home.

'_Kirsten?' _Sandy realized he wasn't alone as he heard his name being called.

"Sandy? You're scaring me. Where's Ryan? What's wrong?" Kirsten asked once he opened his eyes.

Sandy saw orderlies cleaning up the room and Kirsten standing in front of him with a man behind her.

"Sandy?" Kirsten asked again, this time with her hands on her hips.

"He's in the shower… he wanted to do it alone… Kirsten, he practically begged me to let him… he's… he's so upset, Kirsten. I've never seen him like this… he's so scared, Kirsten," Sandy said, surprised at the way he sounded as he walked up to Kirsten and wrapped his arms around her.

"He'll be okay, Sandy, we'll get him through it, but we have to be strong and we have to not let him close inside himself. We will not let him be alone in this… We've spent two years tearing those walls down; I will not have them go back up. We just have to be there and show him that we love him and that he can trust us not to leave. I need you on this, Sandy, I need you here," Kirsten said as she hugged her husband.

"I know, Kirsten, I'm sorry. I just had a minor freak out moment. Just seeing him like that scared me for a minute. But I'm okay and I'm here," Sandy said stepping back. He knew Kirsten would have the answer and he would have too if he was thinking more clearly.

"I love you," Kirsten said and then kissed Sandy's cheek.

"I love you too," Sandy smiled.

Sandy noticed the man again.

"I'm sorry about that," Sandy said to the man.

"Oh that's alright, I understand… I saw the kid, I understand what you mean," the man said stepping forward.

"Oh, Sandy this is Detective Mark James, Detective this is my husband, Sandy Cohen. Sandy, Detective James was the first one to speak to Ryan at the scene when the police arrived," Kirsten introduced.

"Nice to meet you, I hear you're one of the best," Sandy said offering his hand.

"Thank you; it's a pleasure to meet you as well. I hear you're one of the best also, before you moved to the big firm," Detective James said taking Sandy's hand.

"I came in to see how Ryan was doing and when I could get a statement. He wasn't very responsive at the scene. I only got his name, that the other victim was his brother and your names. When I asked if he could tell me what happened, he shook his head and closed his eyes. He was very distant. Officers who arrived first tried to talk to him but said he didn't even look at them. Like he didn't see or hear them. When we, homicide, arrived fifteen minutes later, barricades were up and people were crowded around them. But Ryan was just sitting there, I tried to talk to him but it wasn't until I tapped his shoulder that he looked at me. Then he seemed to be comprehending what was going on around him, I pulled him up and walked him to the ambulance. You could tell he was in shock and scared, let alone pain, even though he didn't complain. The kid has very telling eyes. I just wanted to check on him and see when you thought was a good time to see about a statement. When you thought it would be best. We would like to do it as soon as Ryan is able so we can get the person who did this," Detective James explained as Sandy and Kirsten stood side by side, holding hands.

"Well, Detective, I don't think tonight is best. How about if I call you when Ryan is treated and we have more information about when he'll be home and his condition?" Sandy asked and then checked his watch. Ryan had two minutes before he was going in.

"That'd be great, here's my card, just give me a call as soon as you can. I'll also be sending a squad car to your house until we catch whoever did this and I have a couple officers outside in the hall for your protection while Ryan is here," Detective James replied.

"Thank you, detective. Do you have any idea about what happened?" Kirsten asked but before Detective James could answer, sounds of retching came from the bathroom. Sandy and Kirsten both hurried towards the bathroom.

Sandy walked in without knocking and Saw Ryan kneeling in front of the toilet in his boxers, throwing up his dinner.

Both Cohens were by his side in an instant. Kirsten rubbed his back and whispered gentle words. Sandy also rubbed Ryan's back from the other side.

Ryan's bruises were more pronounced now that he had a shower. You could see how bad the cuts were and how deep.

As Ryan revolted he wished he could just die. It hurt so badly, every time he threw up pain pierced through his stomach. Finally he stopped physically throwing up anything; he just started dry heaving; which was so much worse. Ryan felt Sandy and Kirsten beside him when he first started and could vaguely hear them telling him that it would be okay. But he didn't know how it would be, it hurt so badly and there was so much blood. The blood had just run off of him. Ryan knew most of it was Trey's. He felt queasy as he stepped out of the shower. Then as he looked in the mirror and saw his swollen face, the whole dreadful event came back to him. He saw Trey lying there next to him as blood poured out of the hole in his head and chest. Ryan barely made it to the toilet before the bile exited his mouth.

Ryan continued to dry heave for another three minutes before it stopped. He leaned exhausted against Kirsten, trying to catch his breath, it hurt so very much.

"You think you're done, sweetie?" Kirsten asked as she swiped the wet, sweaty bangs off his forehead.

Ryan nodded as he closed his eyes and just let Kirsten hold him. She had her arms around him protectively as she ran a hand through his hair. Sandy was still there too, running his hand up and down Ryan's back. They didn't leave, he was not alone.

"How ya doing, kiddo?" Sandy asked softly.

"Hurst," Ryan winced without opening his eyes.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. The doctor will be in soon to see you and he'll give you something for the pain," Kirsten wanted to cry as she held Ryan and rocked.

"I want to go home, Sandy… when can I go home?" Ryan whispered as he opened his eyes and looked straight at Sandy.

Sandy's heart strings tugged when he saw the look in Ryan's eyes; the look of total dependency. Ryan was depending on Sandy to get him out of the hospital as soon as possible, Ryan knew Sandy could do it. If only Sandy could.

"I don't know, kid, but probably not tonight. They'll probably keep you overnight to make sure nothing happens, I'm sorry," Sandy replied sadly. That was not the answer Ryan wanted to hear and not the one Sandy wanted to give but it was the truth, he really didn't know. Sandy looked at Ryan and saw tears in his youngest son's eyes.

"I just want to go home… it hurts so bad… since I can't go home when do I get to go to sleep?" Ryan asked his voice low and shaky.

"Soon, honey, after the doctor is done with his exam and you are treated," Kirsten whisper as she continued to rock.

"You ready to do this, kiddo?" Sandy asked.

Ryan closed his eyes and sighed, he had forgotten about the pictures. He nodded.

"Alright, I'm going to go clear out the room to give you some privacy, while Kirsten helps you. Then the doctor will come in and take care of you," Sandy said softly and then patted Ryan's leg. Sandy stood and walked out of the room, taking a deep breath.

"Honey, why don't we get you washed up so we can get you treated," Kirsten said as she stopped rocking and looked down at Ryan.

Ryan nodded but he didn't want to get up, he wanted to stay in Kirsten's arms, safe, forever.

Kirsten smiled and then frowned when Ryan sat up wincing and she saw his face. It was pale and he looked utterly exhausted. His eyes were cloudy with grief and pain; his lids drooped as he struggled to stay awake. She just wanted to take his pain away. Kirsten wished this night had never happened.

Kirsten gave another weak smile as she stood up. He made a move to do the same but stopped as pain assaulted his whole body. He hurt worse than he had ever before. Kirsten put the toilet seat down and flushed it and then turned to help Ryan up. As she wrapped her arms carefully around him, Sandy came back in. He helped Kirsten lift Ryan up and on the toilet seat as Ryan held his breath as much as his ribs would allow.

"You okay, kid?" Sandy asked as Ryan let the breath out slowly.

"Hurts," Ryan replied once more as Kirsten wet a wash cloth. Sandy had his arm around Ryan's shoulders, keeping him up right as Ryan leaned against him. He was so very weak.

Kirsten stepped back to them but before she washed Ryan's face she lifted her hand to his forehead. Ryan involuntarily flinched at the touch. He had his eyes closed and her cool hand on his head surprised him.

"Sorry," Ryan said softly.

"No, Ryan, I'm sorry, I should have warned you, honey, I'm sorry," Kirsten apologized, she lifted her hand again, this time he didn't flinch.

"You feel warm, I think you have a fever," She said taking her hand away.

"Ryan just nodded and closed his eyes again as Kirsten started to wash his face.

"Okay, kiddo, I'm going to help you up and back in to the other room. We're just going to go nice and slow," Sandy said after Kirsten finished.

Ryan sat up slowly, preparing for the move.

"Ready?" Sandy asked. Ryan opened his eyes and nodded.

"Okay, here we go," Sandy said as he placed his arms underneath Ryan's. He gently pulled Ryan up. But Sandy's heart still broke when Ryan gasped in pain and closed his eyes tight.

"I'm sorry, kiddo, I know it hurts," Sandy said sympathetically as he slowly and carefully draped Ryan's right arm over his shoulder and wrapped his left arm around Ryan's waist. Kirsten joined them on Ryan's left side, weary of his injured arm.

Once in the now clean and put back together hospital room, they took him to the exam bed. Ryan was out of breath and leaning on Kirsten again with his eyes closed as Sandy grabbed the digital camera. Sandy took a picture of every bruises and cut that was visible on Ryan's body. There were 42 total picture of Ryan's entire body. It took twenty minutes to get them all.

"Okay, Ryan, all done, kiddo, we'll sit you down and then I'm going to give this to the police and tell the nurse we're done," Sandy said and then helped Kirsten sit him down

Ryan felt useless as Kirsten helped him on the gurney and Sandy picked up his legs and set them gently on the bed. Kirsten lifted the head of the bed a little and then helped him slowly lie back.

"You cold, sweetie?" Kirsten asked as Sandy took the camera out.

"Yeah, when can I get dressed?" Ryan asked his voice raspy and tired.

"The nurse will bring you a hospital gown when she comes in, so I guess for now it is just a blanket," Kirsten replied getting the hair off his forehead gently.

"Oh, okay," Ryan replied quietly. Kirsten pulled the black up over his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Ryan said suddenly. Kirsten ran her hand through his hair. He liked it, it was such a soothing gesture.

"For what, sweetie, you have nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong," Kirsten was slightly surprised.

"You're doing- everything… I'm like a child… a baby… I can hardly hold myself up. I'm sorry," Ryan said looking away. "I'm sorry, I'm such a burden," he said it so low that Kirsten could hardly hear him.

"Oh, honey, don't be. Its okay, you've been through a rough time tonight. No one blames you. You are injures. We don't mind taking care of you; we have few opportunities where you let us. You do not need to apologize. We will always take care of you and be here when you need us. You don't have to do this alone, Ryan, we won't let you. You have us now and we're not going anywhere. Understand?" Kirsten explained softly as she continued her loving gesture.

Ryan had tears in his eyes. No one had ever cared about Ryan like the Cohens. His mom loved him because she had to but the Cohens chose to and that meant the world to him.

"Thank you," he said softly, his voice breaking.

"Honey, thank you for letting us. We love you so much. Sandy, Seth, and I love you and will always be here," Kirsten said and then kissed away his tears like she would have Seth.

_'Seth… oh God… he's going to kill us… we haven't called Seth' _Kirsten thought to herself.

Seth had gone out to eat with Summer and then they were going to a movie at 8:00. Seth had no idea what had happened.

"I love you guys too," Ryan whispered bringing Kirsten's attention back to Ryan. Seth could wait, Ryan needed her. "I don't ever want to leave," he added groggily as his eyes slipped shut.

"Sleep, honey, we'll wake you when the Doctor comes in," Kirsten whispered as tears filled her eyes at his half asleep statement that had meant the world to her. She kissed his forehead and she continued to stroke his hair.

Sandy and the nurse came in 2 minutes later.

"You don't have to wake him, do you? He just fell asleep," Kirsten said quietly as Sandy wrapped his arm around her.

"No, I can wait until the doctor, he's had a rough night, we'll wait," whispered with a small smile. This was a totally different boy that she had witnessed earlier.

"Thank you," Sandy smiled.

"You're welcome, he deserves to sleep. The Doctor will be in, in about 20 minutes or so," The nurse said and then left.

"Sandy, he apologized for being a burden," Kirsten whispered turning to her husband and hugging him.

"What'd you say?" Sandy asked sighing.

"I told him, he wasn't, of course and that we didn't mind taking care of him I told him that he didn't have to do it alone that he had us. And that we loved him" Kirsten replied quietly.

"He thanked me and said that he loved us too… and that… that he never wanted to leave," she added now with tears.

"He said that?" Sandy asked surprised.

Kirsten nodded, "I don't think anyone has ever taken care of him like that before."

"Except Trey, maybe and… well, he's gone now," Sandy said hugging Kirsten tighter.

"I think we should talk to him about us adopting him," Kirsten said quietly. "Not just be his guardians but make him an official Cohen."

"I totally agree with you, honey, but we have to talk to him first," Sandy said smiling tonight for the first time, happily.

"I'd…I'd like-like that," The two Cohens heard from the bed. They turned to see blue, glossy slits looking weakly at them.

"You sure, sweetie, because you don't have to," Kirsten asked as she took Ryan's hand, gently.

"I…I…I want to… I mean, if you…you… guys are sure… that… you want to," Ryan replied with shaky breath and painful voice.

"Of course we want to, we just don't want you to feel like you have to," Sandy filled in.

"I want to, I want to be a… a Cohen," Ryan replied shyly.

"Oh Ryan, you don't know how much this means to us, Kirsten cried happy tears as she kissed the top of his head.

"You guys have done more for me then anyone ever has… my mom… Dawn… she wouldn't have been here tonight… you guys care more about me than she ever did. You've always been there when I need you… even if I didn't ask you to be or want you there. You've never let me down… when you get mad or upset you don't… don't … hit… me or Seth and you take care of us when we're sick… I know I'm safe with you guys and that means a lot. You guys never did anything for me because you had to, you did it because you want to. Of course, I want to be a Cohen; you're the greatest family in the world… I don't deserve a family like you," Ryan was sure saying that much was a bad idea, he was exhausted. But when he looked up at Sandy and Kirsten, they both had tears in their eyes; he knew it was right then.

"Oh, Ryan," Kirsten cried and held back the urge to hug him because she knew she would cause him more pain.

"We love you, kid and you do deserve a family… we'll make sure ne ever hurts you again… we love you very much," Sandy said restraining himself from crying more.

"I love you too," Ryan said weakly as his eyes dropped again. He was so tired.

"Sleep, baby, the doctor will be here soon. Sandy is going to sit with you while I go call Seth, I'll be back though, don't worry, I won't leave you," Kirsten said and then kissed the top of his head again.

"Okay," Ryan said with a sleepy smile.

"I'll call a friend and have him draw up the papers in the morning. Sleep, kid, while you can, you have nothing to worry about," Sandy said as Kirsten walked out and he took the job of running his fingers through Ryan's hair. He was asleep within seconds.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Will have the next up soon, i hope, but I have a job interview tomorrow, so we will see what happens with that. depending on if i get the job or not(pray that i do) it might be longer than originally hoped. REVIEW please... thanks a bunch. And for all of you Americans, I hope you had a fun and safe 4th! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, sorry for the long wait... it's a short one but hey at least it is here. Read & Review :) Please!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything... except the characters that come from my own imagination.**

**No beta which means all mistakes are really mine.**

**Enjoy!  
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Kirsten walked out in the waiting room and pulled out her cell phone.

"Hello, maja, what's up?" Seth answered. Kirsten looked at her watch, it was going on 10:00 o'clock.

"Seth, something happened, Ryan's and Trey were attacked. Trey was killed and Ryan has been beaten badly. He's in the hospital, but he's going to be okay. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. We will probably be here all night; they will probably hold Ryan over night. So your Father and I just wanted to let you, if you and Summer wanted to come down," Kirsten said cutting right to the chase.

"Oh My God, mom. He's okay though, right? You said he's okay? I mean… he'll be okay, right, mom?" Seth asked shocked.

"Yes, Seth, it'll take time but he'll recover. The Doctor is coming in soon to treat him. When you get here we'll explain more," Kirsten explained partially.

"Okay mom, Summer and I will be there in a flash. Tell Ry, we're coming," Seth said frantically as Summer stared at him confused and worried.

"Seth, do not speed. Ryan is not in any mediate danger, he's asleep. I do not need both of my sons in the hospital," Kirsten said clearly and firmly.

"Okay, mom, we'll be there in twenty," Seth said calmer, knowing that Ryan was safe and sleeping.

"I love you, Seth, be careful."

"Love you too, we will."

Kirsten hung up after hearing the dial tone.

"How is he?" Kirsten whispered when she stepped back into the exam room with two coffees.

"Ooh, thank you… he's sleeping like a baby. Seth coming?" Sandy said as he took the coffee.

"Yes, he and Summer are on their way now," Kirsten replied. "So, you'll call Jeff in the morning about the papers?"

"Yeah, the same time I'll see about getting Mike to track down Dawn, hopefully she'll sign without a fuss. I don't want this to go to court. We could win but I don't want the mess for Ryan," sandy replied as they watched Ryan sleep.

"And Frank?" Kirsten asked.

"Since he's been in prison for the last 6 years and there is record of him hitting the boys and he'll probably be in jail at least 5 more years, the judge will most likely forego his signature. Terminating his rights," Sandy explained.

"I can't believe this is really happening. I think we should move him in the house; we should have done it awhile ago. I was going to have him stay in the guest room anyway when he came home. We'll put him in the room next to Seth's," Kirsten said smiling.

"Sounds great, honey," Sandy smiled and then kissed his wife.

The door opened and the Cohens turned to see the nurse from before and the doctor walk in.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, I'm Doctor Micah James, how is our patient?" the doctor said offering his hand to the Cohens.

"Ryan says he's really hurting and he has a headache. He also got sick after his shower. He emptied his stomach and then continued to dry heave for quite awhile. He's tried and really sore, I think he has a fever too," Kirsten informed as the adults moved to the bed.

"Okay, understandable… if one of you would like to wake him, I'm sure he'll be happier to see one of you than he would me," Doctor James said with a small smile.

"Ryan, honey, you have to wake up, sweetie, the doctor is here," Kirsten said softly as she ran her fingers through Ryan's hair. Ryan shifted and cracked open his eyes.

"Hey honey, the doctor is here to take care of you," Kirsten smiled.

Ryan only nodded and looked at the doctor with pain-filled eyes.

"Hi Ryan, remember me from earlier, I'm Doctor James," Micah said smiling at his young patient.

"Sorry about before," Ryan said quietly.

"That's alright, kid, no big deal. Mom here says you're in a lot of pain and have a headache. Anything else?" Micah asked.

"No," Ryan replied weakly.

"Okay, we're going to take you to x-ray and see what is going on inside and then a CAT scan too. After those we'll come back and stitch you up and get you taken care of. We'll get you some meds to take care of the pain and hook you up to an I.V. to get fluids back in you. I would not be at all surprised if you had a concussion so you'll get to sleep but someone will be waking you up every two hours," Doc James explained as the nurse started the I.V.

"When do I get to go home?" Ryan asked yet again, Sandy and Kirsten both looked at the doctor with sad smiles.

"That will depend on how things look internally. If things look good and after you pee, you may get to go home later tonight or early in the morning. If you pee blood, you'll be here for a little longer until that clears up. If you are bleeding internally, which we would know already if you were, I'm sure, you could be here awhile. We'll know more after the x-ray and CT scan," Micah replied smiling at the teenager.

"Pee blood?" Ryan asked alarmed.

The adults chuckled but Ryan didn't think it was anything to laugh about. He just glared at them and waited for someone to answer.

"If your kidney is damaged or bruised it will cause you to pee blood," Micah explained, smiling.

"Oh," Ryan said and again more laughter. He was tired and didn't think any of this was very funny.

"Any other questions before we head to x-ray and CT?" Doctor James asked.

"How long will he be gone?" Sandy asked no laughter.

"Half hour tops 45 minutes," Micah replied.

"First, can I put a gown on? And second, can't they go with me?" Ryan asked as he started to panic a bit.

"First, yes, second, no, sorry," James replied, no smile or laughter as the nurse reached for the hospital gown.

"Why not… please," Ryan was becoming increasingly upset.

"Because only doctor/patient is allowed in CT and x-ray," Doctor James explained.

"Then, I don't want to go," Ryan said as if he was five years old. Kirsten and Sandy were shocked at Ryan's behavior. This wasn't like Ryan at all, again they were reminded about what happened tonight. It broke their hearts.

"Ryan, sweetie, it's okay, we'll be here when you get back, we're not going to leave you, honey," Kirsten said as she rubbed her fingers through his hair once more.

"Please, I don't want you to leave," Ryan whispered as tears filled his eyes.

Kirsten looked sadly at Ryan and then at the doctor, "I'm going with him."

The Kirsten had spoken and Doctor James knew not to mess with a mother protecting her child. He nodded.

"Alright, sweetie, I'm going to go with you. But your father is going to stay and wait for Seth to arrive. Okay, honey?" Kirsten said turning back to Ryan.

"Thank you," Ryan said quietly.

"Okay, Ryan let's get you moving so we can ease that pain of yours. You ready, kiddo?" Micah asked.

Ryan nodded as Kirsten and the nurse helped him with the gown.

"I'll see you when you come back, son, and Seth will be here too, hang tight, kid," Sandy said patting Ryan's leg gently.

Ryan smiled and nodded.

"Dad? What's going on? How's Ryan?" Seth asked running up to Sandy in the waiting room, five minutes after the doctor took Ryan to x-ray and CT.

"Seth, they just took him to x-rays and CT to inspect the damage. He's in a lot of pain and he's looked better but health wise, he should be fine. We'll know more when they get the tests back," Sandy explained after hugging Seth.

"What happened?" Summer asked.

Sandy explained what he knew, what everyone knew until Ryan told them what happened. He explained the hospital room and Ryan's apology to Kirsten and the adoption decision. Seth was sad and then excited and happy.

"But I need to tell you… Ryan isn't exactly Ryan," Sandy started and both teenagers' faces turned upside down.

"What? What is it? What happened? Why?" Seth asked all in one breath.

"no, Seth… Ryan isn't exactly himself, he's not the tough macho, 'I'm fine' kid we know. Whatever Ryan saw tonight, it spooked him, bad. He sobbed into your mother's shoulder when we arrived. He let your mom hold him. He doesn't want to be left alone… he'll lean against us… Trey being killed and whatever he saw tonight has scared, Ryan. He's afraid we'll leave him and not come back. They were going to take him to x-rays and he asked if we could come with, Doctor James said no and Ryan said he wasn't going then and became upset. He told your mom that he didn't want us to leave. So you mother told the doctor she was going and as you know no one says no to your mother… you both need to be prepared for this Ryan. Do not go in there expecting the Ryan with a hero complex because you'll only find the Ryan who is searching for the hero he lost tonight," Sandy explained to the teenagers sitting in front of him.

That is when he realized that Ryan did in fact lose his hero; the only person he had looked up to as a child, the person who had been there the most for him was now gone. Ryan was in search of a new hero, someone he was sure would always be there for him and lately that had been the Cohens.

"We understand, dad, we won't. We'll do anything we can to help Ryan," Seth replied.

"Totally, Mr. C." Summer agreed.

"Good," Sandy sighed and sat back.

**So hoped you liked it...sort of a filler chapter, kind of boring... remember to review! Next chapt, I promise to have up by class starts again, but i leave for Michigan for two weeks in a week, which means limited internet access. Sorry, will try my best. Have a great weekend everyone! Stay cool!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry again for another long wait! But I pretty happy with this chapter, I guess. You get Seth's point of view on Ryan and some of the Cohens' feelings. Still Fluffy :) Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for all the reviews and speaking of... please REVIEW!  
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**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

**NO Beta!**

After the CT scan and x-ray, the doctor stitched up Ryan's gashes and wrapped his torso. When he finished treating Ryan he gave him something for the pain and left him. Soon Ryan fell into an exhausted sleep with Kirsten sitting beside him. Once Kirsten was sure that Ryan was really asleep, she went out to the waiting room to talk to Sandy. She hoped Ryan wouldn't wake up with her not there and dreaded his reaction if he did. Kirsten didn't know what to expect and she didn't want to think about how upset he would be.

"How is he?" Sandy asked when Kirsten walked up to them.

"He's asleep and has been resting nicely for a little over an hour. I thought I would come out here and talk to you," Kirsten replied as she sat down next to Sandy and across from Seth.

"What'd the doctor say?" Seth asked.

"He said he'd come and talk to us when the results come back, but the nurse came in about 20 minutes ago and said the results were back and the doctor was finishing up with another patient and then he'd be here to speak with us. They stitched him up and gave him morphine," Kirsten replied as Sandy put his arm around her and hugged her close.

"How did he do in there?" Sandy asked, remembering the 5 year old Ryan that had appeared before.

"He did fine, if I was with him, as long as he could see me he was fine. The CT scan took a few tries because he was so distraught that he couldn't stay still. I had to go in and calm him down and promise that I was not going anywhere and that I could see him the whole time before he actually would stay still long enough," Kirsten replied sadly.

"Wait… Ryan knows you wouldn't leave him, why was he so upset?" Seth asked.

"Seth, it's what I told you; Ryan isn't himself, he thinks we'll leave him like Trey. He doesn't want to be alone," Sandy explained to Seth again.

"But Trey didn't choose to leave him, he didn't board a bus and go to Vegas, he di…died," Seth replied.

"Ryan knows that, sweetie, he's just scared right now," Kirsten explained, tired; it had been a long night.

_Ryan scared?_ Seth didn't think that was humanly possible. _Ryan must really be messed up if he's scared._

"Well, if he doesn't want to be left alone why are we out here?" Seth asked his mom.

"To give Ryan time to sleep plus I needed to tell your father about what the doctor said. Why don't you go sit with him awhile, while your dad and I speak with the doctor, we'll be in when we're done," Kirsten suggested.

"Yeah, we'll get some Seth/Ryan time," Seth said standing up.

"Seth Ezekiel, if you wake him up, you'll be grounded for a year," Kirsten warned, shaking her finger at Seth as The Kirsten made an appearance.

"Don't worry mom, we'll have the first ever silent Seth and sleeping Ryan time," Seth smiled; he really had no intention of waking Ryan up.

"You better be careful Seth, Ryan might like Seth/Ryan time better that way," Sandy joked.

"Oh, I know he would," Kirsten chuckled.

"Hey now, Ryan cherishes our Seth/Ryan conversations very much and he likes them just how they are, Seth countered and then left the room.

The smile on Seth's face disappeared at the thought of how Ryan might look when he arrived at his room. His parents had said that Ryan had been beaten badly. But how bad was badly? Did he look as he had an encounter with the Hulk or did he look like he went a few rounds with Muhammad Ali? Or were his parents just over reacting and he just looked as if he went to blows with the old mean Luke and his team of Water polo goons? But since Seth was in the hospital on his way to Ryan's hospital room, Seth had a good bet that he was just doing a little wishful thinking with the old Luke scenario. And Jesus and Moses both know that Ryan was never scared of Luke and the water polo team. Seth didn't want to think of what the men were like to do something like this. Seth figured they had to be some villains to do what they did and scare Ryan.

When Seth opened the door to Ryan's room he was taken aback by how weak Ryan looked and how fragile he seemed.

"Definitely Hulk," Seth whispered and then mentally smacked himself; this was no time for comic book references. Not when Ryan was looking so very unlike Ryan, this was way more serious.

Seth, though, was glad that he hadn't seen Ryan earlier, before he was cleaned and stitched up; his stomach wouldn't have been able to handle it. He wanted to be there for Ryan and not go running from the room or passing out from the blood.

"Hey brother, you've really done it this time, huh?" Seth whispered and then walked up to the side of the bed.

_Brother_.

Seth realized that soon that statement would be true. Well, Seth already felt like it was as true as blood but soon it would be legal. And that news in these circumstances was awesome. That news by itself in the happiest times was awesome, but it with the circumstances was stupendous. It gave Seth hope, that even though Ryan looks the way he does, that things will be alright and that Ryan will be back to normal. But then again, how normal did the Cohens really want Ryan to be? Did they really want the 'I'm fine, better not get too close because I'm not totally sure if I trust them not to hurt me' Ryan? Seth would take tough Ryan back and the 'not funny but occasionally sarcastic here and there' Ryan. He would even take the 'side glancing broody' Ryan. But if Ryan never went back to hiding all of his thoughts and feelings and he trusted the Cohens completely, Seth thought that he would probably be okay with that and he could bet his parents would be too.

Seth sat back in the chair that his mom once occupied.

When Sandy and Kirsten came in the room fifteen minutes later, Seth was asleep and so was Ryan. The parents smiled at their sons but didn't get to smile long before Ryan started to toss and turn in his sleep.

"No… wake up, Trey," Ryan was still sleeping as he moaned and turned.

Kirsten and Sandy were beside the bed in a hurry.

"Ryan, sweetie, it's alright… you're okay, we're here," Kirsten tried to sooth Ryan back to sleep as she rubbed his arm softly.

Ryan tossed some more until Kirsten ran her fingers through his hair, he finally stopped and then opened his eyes part way to look at her. What Kirsten saw was something she thought she would never see in Ryan's eyes at least not so pronounced; it was pure fear and confusion. His eyes filled with tears as the dream came back to him and Kirsten sat on the bed in one quick smooth motion. She let Ryan lay his head on her lap as he cried for his brother. She smoothed his hair and tried to comfort him the best she could as Sandy and now Seth looked on sadly. Seth was shocked that he was witnessing Ryan actually crying. Seth watched for a few moments longer until he couldn't anymore, he left the room in a hurry. Ryan was his best friend and the toughest guy he had ever known, seeing Ryan cry was unreal. Seth didn't like, he didn't like it all.

Seth kept walking until he was outside; he needed air. He sat and then he stood and paced and then he sat some more. He couldn't believe it, his parents had warned him but that didn't mean that he was ready for that. Ryan crying on his mom's lap had never ever crossed Seth's mind, he didn't think it would happen. Seth cursed the men that took his brother's brother away from him; he cursed them for taking away the old Ryan. Seth wished the old Ryan back, all of him, every single thing that made Ryan, Ryan he wanted it all. Seth didn't want to see Ryan hurting so much. Ryan was broody, he didn't cry, he brooded. Seth would take Ryan locking himself in the pool house over Ryan crying on his mother's lap.

"Seth," Seth looked up to see his dad standing next to him, "Do you see why I warned you, now? Do you see what I mean?"

Seth just nodded, "I can't see him like that… I can't handle it."

"I know it's hard, Seth, trust me, I don't like seeing him like that either... but Ryan needs us now maybe more than ever. He's going to need you to be there for him until he can get through this," Sandy said as he sat down and placed an arm around Seth.

"But he's Ryan, Dad, he can't be like that… he's… he's Ryan," Seth said and then put his face in his hands.

"That's right, Seth, he's Ryan. He's not Superman or any other super hero… He's Ryan, a 16 year old kid, just like you… Ryan has feelings, just because you don't see them doesn't mean he doesn't. You would be doing the same thing right now if you went through what Ryan went through tonight… sigh… Seth, imagine that you've known Ryan your whole life and were truly his brother, now imagine that Ryan is Trey tonight and you are Ryan. How would you feel if you lost Ryan? I don't think you would be exactly yourself either… Now imagine what Ryan would be doing right now if you were the one up there hurting… He'd be up there with you and he'd make sure he was there for you all the way," Sandy sighed again but he could tell that he had Seth's attention now.

Seth knew his dad was right; Ryan would be up there with him.

Seth nodded, "Alright, dad, I understand… I'll be there for Ryan, like he would be for me."

"That's great, son, glad to hear it… now, they are going to keep Ryan over night, so your mom is going to stay with him and we're going to go home and come back in the morning, but first lets go up and say good night," Sandy said as he patted Seth's back and then stood up.

"Yeah, okay," Seth said and stood too.

"Hey man," Seth said when he and Sandy walked in Ryan's room. Ryan was now sitting part way up and Kirsten was back in the chair. Ryan still looked tired but he also had a look that Seth couldn't quite place. He didn't recognize it and it was something that he had never seen in Ryan's eyes before.

"Hey," Ryan said quietly while adverting his eyes.

_"Well, some things just never change,"_ Seth thought to his self with a small smile.

"Hey kiddo, Seth and I are going to go home but Kirsten is going to stay here with you. We'll be back in the morning to take you home, okay?" Sandy said moving to side of the bed opposite of Kirsten.

Ryan nodded, "Yeah, okay."

"See ya, dude, good night and I'll see ya in the morning… I'm glad you're going to be okay," Seth waved from the end of the bed.

"Thanks, Seth, I'll see ya," Ryan said in a tired voice but did give Seth a small smile.

"Good night, kid, love ya," Sandy said and then bent down and kissed the top of Ryan's head. Ryan closed his eyes but didn't pull away and only a slight shade of pink could be seen on his cheeks.

"Night mom… I'll meet you outside, dad," Seth said and then walked out of the room.

Sandy walked over and kissed Kirsten good night and then stood up.

"Get some sleep, son," Sandy said to Ryan before leaving the room.

The night was rough for both Kirsten and Ryan, Kirsten slept when Ryan slept and Ryan would only sleep for about an hour at a time before he would have a nightmare. The longest Ryan slept was two hours and that wasn't until five in the morning. The last time he woke up was because he was in pain, his medicine had worn off and he was in pain like he had been the night before. Kirsten soothed him after she pushed the call button as they waited for the nurse to come.

"Do you think you can eat, Ryan?" the nurse asked after she gave Ryan the morphine.

Ryan shook his head, "I'm not hungry."

"What if I told you that the doctor wasn't going to let you go home until you eat?" The nurse asked raising an eyebrow.

"I could eat a little bit," Ryan corrected as Kirsten and the nurse smiled at each other.

"Okay, since you haven't eaten since you were sick last night, we're not going to try anything too exciting, you'll get jell-o and chicken broth and a glass of warm milk," the nurse replied and then laughed at Ryan's reaction as he scrunched up his nose.

"Sounds so appetizing," Ryan said in a tried sarcastic voice.

"I'll get that ordered for you, Ryan," the nurse said laughing and then left the room.

"When are Sandy and Seth going to be here?" Ryan asked as he turned to Kirsten.

"About 9 or so and the doctor is supposed to be in at 10 for one last check you should be home by noon, one at the latest, I would guess," Kirsten replied as she scooted closer to Ryan.

"Why don't you try getting some sleep before your breakfast gets here now that your pain level is down," she added, noticing how tired Ryan was.

"Okay," Ryan didn't argue because he was tired and he did want to sleep.

Kirsten had been right; Ryan was home by 12:30. Kirsten and Sandy both tried to get Ryan to eat something but he refused, his so called breakfast hadn't settled well with him. He hadn't thrown up but he did not feel well. The Cohens gave in and Sandy helped Ryan upstairs to the guest room that would now be his room. Kirsten had already been up there and folded back the bed and other things. Kirsten and Sandy were surprised when Ryan didn't say anything about them fussing over him as Kirsten tucked him in. Ryan just took it and didn't mind it. Though Seth who was looking on from doorway had to leave and go to his room. No one had noticed that he was there and no one noticed he had gone and he was glad because he didn't feel like getting another lecture from his dad. Seth was truly trying to be there and get used to this new and hopefully temporary Ryan, but it was hard. So hard to see his best friend so fragile and vulnerable. Seth lay back on his bed and looked at the ceiling until his eyes drooped shut.

Kirsten had sat with Ryan until he fell asleep and then went to clean up a little bit while Sandy was working in his office.

Kirsten was sitting at the kitchen island, thinking about the night's events and hoping things would be okay again. Seth wasn't the only one wishing things to be normal again. But Kirsten was also enjoying the new vulnerable Ryan, it broke her heart to see him like this but she really loved helping him and him wanting her there. It was like she was making up for the time where she wasn't there, when he was a child and was hurt or sick and she hadn't had the chance to comfort him and take care of him. She enjoyed that part she just wished that it didn't have to happen like this.

"Hey honey, what are you doing in here?" Sandy asked interrupting her quiet thoughts.

"Just thinking," Kirsten smiled softly as Sandy came over and sat next to her.

"You know if you wanted to you could go lie down too, I'll be on Ryan duty," Sandy said after kissing her on the cheek.

"I just might do that, I was just waiting to see if he was going to wake up, but he's been sleeping for awhile, I think I will go lie down while they are both asleep," Kirsten smiled at Sandy.

"Both? Is that where Seth has gone?" Sandy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, he's asleep in his room… I went to ask him if he was okay and he was asleep," Kirsten replied.

"He's a little confused and shocked about how Ryan is acting…" Sandy explained his conversation with Seth the night before.

"I think it is hard on all of us but I think maybe most of all on Ryan but then again he seems okay with it and actually acts relieved that he can let his walls down and let us help," Kirsten said when Sandy finished.

"It's going to be tough until this is over, for everyone and it is going to be interesting to see what happens when it is over… how Ryan is, I mean," Sandy agreed with Kirsten.

Kirsten nodded, "I'm going to go take advantage of the quiet, would you like to join me?"

"I would love to, but I have phone calls to make and work to do. I plan on calling Jeff and Detective James, tell him that he can come tomorrow to get Ryan's statement," Sandy said and then kissed Kirsten.

"Do you think that is too soon? For Ryan?" Kirsten asked.

"No, the sooner they get his statement, the better chance of finding whoever did this," Sandy replied honestly though he was hoping Ryan would be able to.

"Okay," Kirsten said and then left the kitchen.

After Sandy made his phone calls, he went up to check on Ryan. He sat in the chair that he had placed next to the bed for Kirsten to sit in earlier. Ryan was asleep but it didn't look like a very peaceful sleep, his face was scrunched as if he was in pain and his hands were folded into fists. Sandy immediately took Ryan's hand in his to try to get him to relax. He made small circles with his thumb on the back of Ryan's hand and then ran his other hand through Ryan's hair. Ryan didn't wake but he did relax a little under Sandy's soft touch. Sandy stopped both motions but didn't release Ryan's hand. Even though Sandy had been the one saying they needed to be strong for Ryan and to be there for him; Sandy felt like he could break down and cry at any moment. Ryan had walked into his life and just fit in so nicely, the Cohens hadn't thought about losing him. Losing him was always a chance but Sandy didn't ever figure they would lose him like they could have last night, like Ryan lost Trey. Sandy didn't want to think about losing Ryan that way or any other way, especially now after Ryan confessed how much he wanted be a Cohen, how much he wanted to be his son. Sandy held tight to Ryan as his family slept, he had leaned back in the chair and propped his stocking feet up on the end of Ryan's bed, more comfortable now, he joined his family in their slumber. As he let his eyes close a single tear fell.

**Next chapt is more of Ryan's POV and feelings as he talks with Detective James. When will it be up? Your guess is as good as mine... sorry. Class starts next week! REVIEW PLEASE! Hope you all had a wonderful summer!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay sorry for the super long wait... life happened, class started and I got a job. Sorry but guess what you get a pretty long chapter than what you have been getting. Hope you are all well and that enjoy the chapter! read and Review please!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

"Alright, Ryan, what did they look like?" Detective James asked as he sat across from Ryan and the Cohens.

"I'm not sure, I didn't really see their faces," Ryan replied quietly.

_'I don't know' _or _'I don't remember' _were the answers to most of the detective's questions. All Ryan could think of was the man telling him that if he told, they'd come kill the Cohens too. Ryan didn't want to lose them too. He couldn't.

The Cohens and Detective James sighed. Ryan felt bad but he couldn't tell them, he was protecting them.

"Sorry," Ryan said quietly as he looked down at his hands.

"It's alright, Ryan, it was a rough night," Detective James replied, "So you said the men seemed like they knew Trey, from where? Do you know?"

"Prison," Ryan replied quietly, "They said something about being out."

"Okay, great, maybe we'll get something through that. Alright, Ryan, think hard, do you remember anything else? Anything, at all? About the men or what they said? Did they have any markings that you remember, a tattoo or piercing? Anything, Ryan?" James asked almost desperate.

Ryan looked at the adults as they all looked at him. He really wanted to tell them everything but he didn't want to get them killed.

Ryan shook his head and looked down ashamed.

"Alright, Ryan, we're done," James sighed as he closed his notebook and switched off the tape recorder.

"I'm going to go lie down," Ryan said looking over at Sandy and Kirsten.

They nodded as he stood up.

"I'll bring you some orange juice and your pills in a few minutes, sweetie," Kirsten said sweetly.

Ryan nodded and headed out of the kitchen.

"So what now, Detective?" Sandy asked once they heard Ryan going up the stairs.

"We'll see what we can get from this, if anything. See who had problems with Trey in prison or were close to him. See what happens, I guess. But if Ryan remembers anything else, call me. You could also try taking him back to the scene in a couple days and see what comes of it, if he remembers once he's there," Detective James replied as they all stood.

"Alright, detective, will do and let us know if you have anything," Sandy said as the two of them made their way to the door as Kirsten readied Ryan's pain meds.

"We'll be in touch, thanks, Sandy," James said as Sandy opened the door for him.

"Thank you, Mark," Sandy said and then Mark nodded and left.

Ryan really did feel bad. He wanted to protect the Cohens but he also wanted to tell them all of what happened, so they would know and he didn't have to go through it alone. He was tired of being alone and the Cohens have been making it clear for quite some time that he didn't have to be anymore. He couldn't believe that they really wanted to adopt him; with all the trouble he's caused. But he was happy about it, though he didn't think lying to them was a very good way of showing it. He didn't deserve a family like the Cohens. They were so great to him. Sometimes when the weather was nice and he and Seth had taken refuge in the pool as Sandy had a beer in his hand and food on the grill with Kirsten standing beside him laughing and smiling; sometimes Ryan would find himself acting like he'd been there his whole life, like he really was a Cohen. But then he would go and screw up and remind himself that he wasn't good enough to be a Cohen. The Cohens care about him and take care of him, the only person who had done that before was dead now. Trey was dead and never coming back; it was never going to happen, kind of like him really being a true Cohen.

Ryan sighed at that thought as he carefully turned over on his side. He tucked his only able arm under his pillow as tears ran down his cheeks.

_"You're a wimp, Ryan Atwood," Ryan_ thought to himself as he wiped away tears but it was no use as they continued to fall.

"Ryan, honey, I have your medicine," Ryan looked to see Kirsten in the doorway.

Ryan nodded and tried to rub out the tears before Kirsten could see them.

"Ryan? What's wrong, honey? Are you in pain?" Kirsten asked as she hurried to his side as Ryan sat up.

Ryan knew then that he had not succeeded in hiding his tears. Kirsten was now sitting on the bed in front of him.

"I'm sorry," Ryan apologized as he wiped the tears away again.

"Why are you sorry, Ryan? What's wrong?" Kirsten asked confused.

"I couldn't help the Detective, sorry," Ryan replied as he looked at his hands that were lying in his lap.

"Oh, Ryan, its okay you'll remember, maybe in a few days and if not that's okay too, you helped the detective the best you could," Kirsten sighed as she lifted his chin gently so he was looking at her.

Ryan just nodded.

"How about you take your meds and then you can rest for a little bit. Do you have a head ache?" Kirsten asked.

Ryan nodded, closing his eyes and sighing.

"Alright, honey," Kirsten said as she stood up to grab the medicine that she had set on the nightstand.

Kirsten gave Ryan his pills and the orange juice and waited for him to finish before taking them before taking the glass back and setting them on the tray.

When she turned back to Ryan, he was just sitting on his bed looking at his hands again.

"Ryan" She said quietly as she sat in the chair beside the bed, "Ryan, look at me please."

Ryan looked up at Kirsten with sad eyes.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Kirsten asked desperately.

Ryan sighed and Kirsten took his hands in hers.

"You can tell me, honey," Kirsten tried to coax Ryan into telling her.

They both sat quietly for about a minute. Ryan knew he couldn't tell Kirsten, he couldn't even tell her that he was protecting them. They wouldn't understand. He couldn't lose them.

"You shouldn't adopt me," Ryan said quietly, looking down again, "I'm not good enough to be a Cohen."

Ryan heard Kirsten sigh and then felt her hand under his chin once more. He let her gently raise his head so their eyes met.

"You are better than good enough," Kirsten said quietly but firmly.

"No, I'm not," Ryan said just as quiet as he shook his head.

"Ryan, listen to me," Kirsten said and then waited for Ryan to look at her again.

"Would I lie to you, Ryan?" Kirsten asked when Ryan did finally look at her again.

Ryan knew the Cohens wouldn't lie to him. Ryan shook his head, "No".

"That's right, honey… so when I say you're better than good enough, that you deserve a family, I mean it and I don't want an argument… Ryan, sweetie, us Cohens, we're not perfect and we make mistakes, you know that… You are good enough, Ryan, you are better than good enough, got it?" Kirsten tried to make Ryan understand,

Ryan nodded but didn't quite believe her.

"Good… now no more talk of that… I don't want to hear you say those words ever again and that whole 'shouldn't adopt me' thing either… you can't say that after what you said the other night. You're stuck with us now, Ryan, nothing you do will change that," Kristen continued as she stood up.

"Get some rest, sweetie," She said and then kissed the top of Ryan's head.

Ryan nodded and laid down as Kirsten gathered up the tray and any other dish that had been left in the room.

Ryan laid there while he thought about what Kirsten had said. He just couldn't understand how they could care for him that much in such a short time.

He sighed as he tried to get more comfortable which was hard to do with a twenty ton block sitting on your conscience. Ryan decided he would just have to take these men down by himself. To keep the Cohens safe, he would do anything.

Kirsten went downstairs and into her bedroom after taking the dishes to the kitchen. She wasn't sure where Sandy and Seth had gone but she didn't care. She just needed time to herself after her conversation with Ryan. Kirsten sat at the end of her bed and let the tears flow for her inability to take the boy she considered her son's pain away. She wanted to make everything better. Kirsten wished Ryan didn't have to go through any of the things his short life has served up for him. She cursed whoever for not bringing him to them sooner. Yet again, she asked God, _'why Ryan?'_ Kirsten asked why Ryan couldn't be hers. Why Ryan couldn't be born a Cohen so he would be spared all the horrible events that made up his childhood. Kirsten hoped and knew that one day they would all understand. But during a time like this, that day seemed so far off and you just couldn't help asking 'why?' Kirsten laid back and rested as Ryan finally let his eyes fall shut too.

The next day Ryan had a doctor appointment with Doctor James, just a check-up to see how he was doing physically. Sandy and Kirsten had decided the night before that Sandy would take Ryan so Kirsten could go check in at the office and put the fire out also know as her father. Caleb Nichol wasn't upset that she was taking care of Ryan, he was more upset at the men who did it to Ryan and some 'dumbass' clients as he called them. So Kirsten thought it best if she went in for a few hours and get the office back under control.

The two of them also decided to have Sandy take Ryan to the crime scene. But when that was brought up to Ryan, he wanted nothing to do with it. He shook his head repeatedly and ran upstairs as fast as his beaten body would allow. Sandy and Kirsten discussed the matter long after the boys went to bed. They reached the decision to take him still.

So now Sandy was pulling out of the doctor's heading the opposite way they had come. Ryan, who was too tired to even care rested his head on the window and closed his eyes. Ryan didn't give it too much thought, only thinking that maybe Sandy had errands to run. It never crossed Ryan's mind that Sandy would still make him do something that he very clearly didn't want to do.

As Ryan rested, Sandy hoped that he wasn't making a huge mistake. He didn't want to hurt Ryan but he had to see if this worked.

Ryan looked up as Sandy came to a stop.

"No, Sandy, no," Ryan said as soon as he saw where they were.

"Ryan, kid, we're just going to try it," Sandy said turning to the very upset Ryan.

"No, no, no… Sandy, I can't… I can't be here. Please Sandy, no, I can't, no," Ryan closed his eyes and shook his head. He tried his best to block out the images of his big brother lying next to him with blood running out of him.

"Please Sandy, I can't be here, I don't want to be here… _we can't be here_," Ryan continued as Sandy sat in awe. Ryan was crying, breathing hard and still shaking his head. His eyes were still closed as Sandy drove away. He pulled up next to the pier and got out; Sandy ran to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. Ryan was still upset as he trembled; Sandy immediately wrapped his arms around Ryan, eloping him in a strong embrace. Ryan didn't return the hug but did rest his head on Sandy's shoulder, sobbing. Sandy felt horrible as he held his crying son for at least five minutes.

"Let's get you home, kiddo," Sandy suggested after the sobbing had stopped and Ryan was just resting on Sandy's shoulder.

Sand felt Ryan nod against him and then rub his face on Sandy's shoulder, making him smile at the childish gesture. As Sandy made his way to the driver's side, he mentally slapped himself several times.

Ryan stayed quiet all the way home and Sandy kept an eye on him, spotting a few tears on his cheeks. Sandy was so relieved to see Kirsten's car in the driveway. He put his arm around Ryan only to have him flinch and then relax. The verdict was in then as they made their way inside; they had made a huge mistake.

Kirsten met them in the foyer and Ryan slid from Sandy to Kirsten, wrapping her in a desperate hug as new tears came.

Kristen gave Sandy a confused look over Ryan's shoulder as she returned the embrace.

Sandy shook his head, signaling not now.

"Come on, kiddo, let's get you upstairs," Sandy said, resting his hand on Ryan's back, causing him to flinch again. At the flinch, Kirsten looked concerned, since Ryan had been home; he had welcomed every touch from the Cohens. Even acted as if he needed it, like if they didn't hug him or touch him, if he couldn't feel them near then they might disappear. Now Ryan was flinching, telling Kirsten that the visit did not go well, as if she couldn't tell by the distressed embrace that Ryan had her in.

"Come on, sweetie," Kirsten coaxed and Ryan's head came up. He rubbed his palms over his eyes and took a deep breath.

Ryan let Sandy and Kirsten help him upstairs as he hoped that Seth wasn't home to witness that.

Ryan could tell that Seth was uncomfortable with Ryan right now. He didn't want to give Seth more reason to feel that way.

Kirsten and Sandy sat with Ryan until he fell asleep. Kirsten took up the job of running her hand through Ryan's hair, a gesture that the Cohens discovered worked great to get Ryan to relax or fall asleep. She gradually stopped and after an hour of Ryan sleeping, Sandy led Kirsten out. They shut Ryan's door and headed downstairs in silence. Sandy led the way to the master bedroom. Once there, Sandy all but collapsed on the bed, exhausted from the day.

"Sandy, what happened today?" Kirsten asked finally as she sat next to Sandy, who now had his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands. Sandy sighed and looked at his wife.

"We shouldn't have taken him after what his reaction was like last night… God, Kirsten, he was on his way to a fully fledged breakdown. As soon as I stopped he started shaking his head… I've never seen him like that, he was so upset…" Sandy went on to explain to Kirsten all of what happened.

"Oh Ryan," Kirsten said sadly as Sandy and Kirsten hugged.

"Where's Seth?" Sandy asked after a while of silence.

"With Summer, they went to a movie and won't be back until after dinner," Kirsten replied.

"Good, I think it is best for both of them if he isn't here for this Ryan right now," Sandy nodded in relief.

"I agree," Kirsten sighed as they both laid back on the bed.

"So how's your father?" Sandy asked with his eyes closed.

"No! Sandy! Let him go! Please!" Kirsten was screaming at the man who had her husband.

The men had come during the night and pulled them both out of bed. They drug them to the living room where they were joined by the boys being drug down.

Ryan was feeling completely guilty as Seth was jerked down to the floor next to his parents. They kept a firm grip on Ryan.

"See what you did, kid, we warned you," the man that shot Trey said angrily.

"I didn't tell them, I didn't tell anymore," Ryan replied quietly.

"You lie, you took him there," the man roared and then sucker punched Ryan.

"He didn't! We took him there to see if he would remember! He didn't say anything!" Sandy came to Ryan's defense the best he could.

"Shut up, old man!" the other man warned.

"No one asked you," The man that shot Trey pulled a gun from the back of his pants. He earned three gasps from the floor as Ryan just stared at the gun. He was frozen like he had been the night he lost his brother. Fifteen years in Chino and all he could do was stand there as a gun was pointed at his family. He was such a coward.

"You were asking me, the very second you hit my son," Sandy counter sternly, not backing down.

"But he's not really your son, now is he? He's trash from Chino that you brought in as a charity case. But this one, he's all yours. What would you do if I hit your real son, would I get the same reaction out of you?" the man with the gun snorted as he walked closer to Seth with his other hand still holding firm to Ryan.

"Yes," Sandy replied in his calm voice but kept both eyes on the man with his sons.

"So what if I do this?" the man asked and put the gun to Ryan's head and pulled back the hammer. Again gasps filled the room. Ryan was trembling now as he closed his eyes.

"And then what if I do this?" the man moved the gun from Ryan's head to Seth.

"No! Please!" Kirsten was the first to react.

"Oh, see now… Ryan, you're nothing to them. They say they love you like Seth here, but it was just proved not true… you're just trash, Ryan, pure trash," the man chuckled as he returned the gun to Ryan's head.

"That's not true and he knows it," Sandy replied defensive now as he made a move for the man. But the second man made his presence known once again when he punched Sandy in the jaw. Sandy was stopped by the blow.

"Now Mr. Cohen, that wasn't very smart," The man with the gun to Ryan's head observed.

"What we told, Ryan here, after we kicked the shit out of him, is if he said something about us to the cops, we would come back and do the same thing to all of you as we did Trey. Well seeing you two at the scene today told us that Ryan didn't take that threat seriously," The man shoved the still healing Ryan to the floor next to Seth. He then pulled Sandy up by his dark wavy locks.

So that's where they were now. Ryan was kneeling next to Seth and Kirsten was calling for Sandy who now had a gun to his head. Seth was silent; shocked, Ryan figured. Ryan was trying to figure out why he hadn't stopped it, why he didn't even try. He hadn't tried with Trey and now Sandy was going to die too and he was just sitting there.

Ryan heard the gun shots and then Kirsten's screams before he saw Sandy lying there, bleeding from his chest.

"Sandy!" Kirsten cried as Seth made a small desperate whisper, "Dad."

As Ryan stared at his untouchable hero who was bleeding out in front of him, he couldn't help but dwell on the fact that he would be losing both of his heroes in the same week.

Ryan closed his eyes to shut out the scene. When the room went quiet he opened them, he was sitting next to Trey covered in blood again.

"You killed Sandy and Trey, Ryan, Sandy's dead. Sandy's dead and you're just sitting there. What happened to the big tough Ryan who fought for things?" Ryan asked himself. Ryan shuddered and looked down at Trey but jumped when he saw Sandy's face instead. He was back in the living room but now it was just him and Sandy, Kirsten and Seth and the men were gone. Something clicked in Ryan and he moved closer to Sandy. He checked for a pulse and was relieved when he felt a faint one.

"Sandy? Sandy, wake up… please Sandy!" Ryan said trying to be tough. The pulse was growing fainter as Ryan continued to try to wake Sandy. The hole in Sandy's chest though told Ryan that Sandy wouldn't be alive for much longer.

"Sandy! Please! Wake up!" Ryan called but still got nothing. His eyes filled with his tears as he felt for a pulse and got nothing.

"NO! SANDY! NO! PLEASE!" Ryan yelled as he sat straight up in bed. He was panting and covered in sweat. Ryan looked around and got his bearings a bit before the Cohen's rushed in the room.

"Ryan?" Sandy called as all three of them sat on the bed beside him.

"Are you okay, sweetie? Seth heard you and came and got us… what happened?" Kirsten asked as she rubbed Ryan's back.

Ryan couldn't say anything; he just untangled himself from his bedding and ran to the bathroom. He lifted the toilet lid just as he vomited. He puked for a few minutes before stopping and leaning against the bathroom wall. Kirsten and Sandy were on either side of him.

"You were shot," Ryan said quietly as he turned his head towards Sandy after he got his breath back. "You died."

Ryan had tears in his eyes. "I was there… right there and watched you die… I didn't do anything… I couldn't do anything."

"Oh Ryan, kiddo, I'm here… I'm fine," Sandy said as Ryan wrapped his arms around Sandy's torso and buried his face in Sandy's chest.

Ryan gripped the fabric of Sandy's robe as Kirsten stood and asked Seth to go downstairs to get Ryan a glass of warm milk. Once Seth left, Kirsten flushed the toilet and wet a washcloth with warm water. Seeing Ryan clinging to Sandy like he was, made Kirsten want to cry. She handed Sandy the washcloth and then left them to go change Ryan's sweaty sheets. Kirsten went to the linen closet and retrieved new sheets. Seth met her on his way back from the kitchen.

"Is he okay?" Seth asked quietly.

Kirsten knew that this whole thing was harder for him then it was for Sandy and her. Ryan was his best friends and Seth had this picture of Ryan that he needed Ryan to uphold; the picture that Ryan had given Seth's mind the night of the bon fire at Holly's house. Seth wasn't blaming Ryan; he was just worried about him.

"He will be, honey," Kirsten replied sadly as they made it upstairs.

"Why don't you go back to bed, I'll take the milk to Ryan," Kirsten added once outside both boys' bedrooms.

"Thanks mom," Seth said quietly with grateful though sad eyes.

Kirsten nodded and kissed Seth's cheek. Then both of them entered a bedroom. Kirsten put the glass on the nightstand and the sheets on the bed. Then she grabbed a t-shirt out of the dresser for Ryan to change into. She carried it to the bathroom where Sandy and Ryan were right where she left them. Kirsten noticed that Ryan's desperate grip had relaxed.

Kirsten handed the shirt to Sandy, she understood that Ryan just need Sandy; he need the assurance that Sandy was still there. Kirsten bent down and kissed the top of Ryan's head and then kissed Sandy before leaving the room again.

Sandy held Ryan close and let his son just be held. Sandy knew they had figure out just what they needed to do to really help Ryan through this. Sandy was a huge supporter of the fact that Ryan would come to them when he was ready. But Sandy was beginning to doubt it, because if Ryan was having nightmares and that little breakdown today, then something more was going on. Sandy had a feeling that Ryan wasn't telling the whole truth about the night Trey was killed. But Sandy didn't have the heart right now to call him out on it. Knowing Ryan, Sandy thought that whatever the reason, it was probably a good one. Ryan has the best intentions usually but his one flaw was thinking of others so much that he puts himself in danger or gets himself in trouble. Sandy didn't want any of those things to happen to Ryan. He knew he had to get Ryan to talk to someone about what happened that night.

Sandy held Ryan for a few moments longer before he stopped rubbing his back, "kiddo, let's wash your face and change your shirt and then get back in bed. It's late, kid."

Ryan nodded and sat up.

"Oh kid," Sandy reacted at the sight of Ryan. Ryan looked absolutely exhausted; his eyes were red and closing, his face still wet from sweat, his hair was disheveled. He looked horrible.

Sandy started washing Ryan's flushed face. When he finished he helped Ryan up and then helped him get his wet t-shirt off and the fresh one on. Ryan brushed his teeth and Sandy helped the weak boy back in the bedroom where Kirsten was just finishing his bed.

"Hi honey, I just put new sheets on for you," Kirsten said when she noticed Ryan and Sandy. She walked around and wrapped Ryan in a hug and was relieved when Ryan returned it.

"I have some warm milk for you, sweetie, it will help you sleep," Kirsten said after she kissed Ryan's cheek after they pulled away.

"Thank you," Ryan's voice came out in a rasp as he turned to the bed and sat down. Sandy ran his hand through Ryan's hair as Kirsten handed him the milk. Ryan drank half of it and handed it back to Kirsten. He collapsed carefully into his pillows and let Kirsten tuck him in. Both Cohens sat with him until he fell asleep. Kirsten went to bed but Sandy stayed with Ryan for the night, sleeping uncomfortably in the arm chair that was pulled up to the bed. But he didn't mind, he knew Ryan needed him close tonight and that is exactly where he planned to be.

**So did you know it was a dream right away? I was pretty happy with this chapter. I hope you were too! Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here you go! It's not very long and its fluff with the Cohens (of course)... hope you like it! Sorry for the long wait... again.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. or it's characters, haven't and will never :( oh and all mistakes are mine, no beta!**

When Ryan woke up the next morning, Sandy and Kirsten were talking quietly beside his bed. Ryan figured that it was most likely about him, because everything seemed to be about him lately.

It was only a few minutes after he woke up when Kirsten and Sandy noticed him.

"Hey kiddo, how are you doing?" Sandy asked as Kirsten moved to sit on the bed.

Ryan shrugged, "Okay, tired."

"That's to be expected, you had a rough night," Kirsten said as she pushed Ryan's bangs off his forehead.

"What time is it?" Ryan asked quietly.

"About 10:30, we didn't want to wake you," Kirsten replied as Ryan sat up a bit.

"You think you can eat, kids?" Sandy asked.

"I'm not very hungry, my stomach still feels bad," Ryan shook his head.

"You need to eat, sweetie, you threw up a lot last night. How about some toast and Sprite," Kirsten suggested.

Ryan just nodded; he knew he wouldn't win with Kirsten. Kirsten bent over and kissed his forehead before standing and leaving the room.

"You want help getting cleaned up, kid?" Sandy asked after Kirsten left.

"No, I can do it, I'm going to shower," Ryan said as he stood up.

"Alright, come downstairs when you're done, Kirsten and I would like to talk to you," Sandy said as Ryan grabbed clothes.

Ryan just nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.

As Ryan showered he tried to figure out what he was going to do. Sandy and Kirsten wanted to talk which meant Ryan's "I don't remembers" were not going to fly for much longer. Ryan decided he would go to Chino and talk to Arturo and see what he knew about the two men. He had to start somewhere; he knew he wouldn't find the men sitting in Newport.

After Ryan's shower, he dressed and prepared himself for his talk with Sandy and Kirsten. Kirsten was taking his toast out of the toaster and putting them on his plate at the bar stools when he arrived downstairs.

"Hey honey, feel better?" Kirsten smiled at him.

Ryan nodded, "A little, thanks."

"Here's your toast, I'll get a Sprite for you," Kirsten said heading to the fridge as Sandy came in the room.

"Better, kid?" Sandy asked with his goofy grin.

"Still tired though," Ryan nodded.

"Well after you eat and after we talk you can lie down, maybe on the couch if you want, you can put a movie in too if you'd like," Sandy suggested.

Ryan just nodded as he picked at his toast.

"Just try to eat, Ryan, you don't have to eat it all but you need something in your stomach," Kirsten prompted.

The phone rang as Ryan took a bite.

"Hey Jeff, how goes it?" Sandy asked with a smile.

"What?" What's wrong?" Sandy asked as his smile disappeared. Kirsten and Ryan both looked up, knowing that Jeff was dealing with the adoption.

Sandy nodded towards the other room and then disappeared.

Kirsten and Ryan looked at each other, "I'm sure it's nothing, sweetie," Kirsten tried to make it so Ryan would believe her but she was having trouble believing herself. "Just eat, sweetie, Sandy will take care of things," Kirsten said and then kissed Ryan's head.

"I'm going to go check with Sandy," Kirsten added.

Kirsten walked in Sandy's office as he was ending his call with Jeff.

"What's going on?" Kirsten asked as Sandy rubbed the palms of his hands over his face and sighed.

"Why can't things just work out the way they are supposed to? Jeff says that Dawn won't sign over her rights even though we are already his legal guardians, she won't give him up even though she is the one who left him in the first place. Jeff said that she said that we could adopt Ryan if we paid her money. Can you believe that?" Sandy was so tired of people treating Ryan terrible.

"Isn't that illegal?" Kirsten asked exasperated by Dawn.

"Yes very much so, its like human trafficking," Sandy replied, "We'll be going to court, Jeff has the phone conversation on tape for the judge to hear. He said she said more that would help us too. But like I said before, we could win without her but I really didn't want this for Ryan."

"Especially not now, he's been through so much already. I don't know how he would handle being in front of his mother and telling her he wants to be adopted. Anybody would have trouble doing that but Ryan who is so worried about upsetting people, that's like ten times worse," Kirsten agreed.

"Well we'll be there for him as much as possible even if he doesn't like us after our next conversation with him," Sandy said as he stood.

Sandy and Kirsten walked hand in hand back to the kitchen thinking that Ryan would still be eating. But once there they were not totally surprised to find no one. But they really hadn't been gone very long, maybe ten minutes and figured that the way Ryan was eating, he'd still be sitting there.

"Maybe he's already done and was hungrier than he first thought," Sandy said turning to Kirsten who was staring at the trash with her hands on her hips.

"Or maybe he didn't eat at all and just threw it away," Kirsten countered.

"He probably went back to bed," Sandy said shrugging.

Both Sand and Kirsten were more worried than mad.

"We would have heard him go upstairs even if we are talking about Ryan," Kristen said and then looked out the window to the pool house.

"He may have gone to the pool house out of habit," Kirsten observed.

"Maybe, wouldn't hurt to check," Sandy said and then both Cohens headed to the pool house.

"Okay, maybe not," Sandy said when he opened the door and found it empty.

"Oh… Sandy, you don't think that he would leave, do you? He wouldn't run, right?" Kirsten asked with panic etched in her voice.

"Well, honey, I don't think Ryan can run quite yet," Sandy tried to laugh.

"I'm serious, Sandy, you didn't see his face when you left the room," Kirsten said sternly as they went back to the house.

"No, honey, I don't think he would, not now, he's too worried about being alone," Sandy replied serious.

"Let's go check his room, maybe he did get passed us," Sandy suggested and led the way upstairs.

Sandy and Kirsten did a sweep of the upstairs, checking all the rooms though they really didn't think that he would be in any other room. They, then, headed back downstairs. As Kirsten was on her way to the hall bathroom she noticed sandy blonde hair sticking up a little over the arm of the couch and a hand hanging off the side. She smiled and chuckled to herself as she turned to tell Sandy that she had found him.

Sandy was coming down the stairs when he saw Kirsten smiling at the bottom.

"I found him," she chuckled quietly, "And you're going to laugh when you find out where."

Kirsten took Sandy's hand and pulled him down the hall. Sandy spotted Ryan the same way Kirsten had and started laughing.

"Why didn't we think of that sooner?" Sandy whispered as they both looked down at Ryan who was lying on his side with one arm over his ribs and the other hanging half off the couch. He looked to be sleeping well but the arm over his ribs made Kirsten think that he may be in pain.

Kirsten placed the hand back on the couch, moved Ryan's damp bangs off his forehead and then reached for the throw and covered Ryan up.

"I guess the talk can wait," Sandy said leading Kirsten to the kitchen.

"I don't want to hurt him, Sandy, what if he really doesn't remember and he thinks we don't trust him and then he won't trust us and we'll be back to square one," Kirsten picked up their conversation from before Ryan woke earlier.

"And I know what you mean, honey, I don't want to hurt Ryan either but something brought on that reaction yesterday, you didn't see him, Kirsten. He remembers something more than he is telling us. I just want him to trust us enough to tell us, I just want to help him and I can't do that if he doesn't talk to us. I have to know everything and so do the detectives because they have nothing," Sandy tried to make Kirsten understand.

"We both want what's best for Ryan and you and I both know that the only way to keep Ryan safe is to get whoever did this behind bars," Sandy added.

"I know that, Sandy, I just can't see Ryan hurt again like he was after the Oliver ordeal. I just want things to be normal again," Kirsten sighed.

"It will, honey, at least as normal as we Cohens can get," Sandy smiled when Kirsten laughed.

Ryan woke up to see Seth sitting on the floor leaning against the couch, playing ninjas on the PlayStation.

"Hey," Ryan said getting Seth's attention but not sitting up.

"Hey man, welcome to the land of the living, mom said you've been sleeping all day," Seth said with a smile as he hit the pause button on his game.

"What time is it?" Ryan asked as he slowly sat up.

"Almost five, mom is grocery shopping and dad is at his office," Seth noticed the slowness of Ryan's actions.

"You okay there, buddy?" Seth asked when Ryan winced.

"Yeah just a bit sore, I'm going to go take some pain relievers, I'll be back," Ryan nodded as he stood.

"Mom wanted me to have you eat something," Seth said following Ryan to the kitchen.

Ryan side glanced as he reached for his Sprite from earlier that he put in the fridge, "Not hungry."

"That's what I said you would say and I even added the sideways glare too," Seth shrugged as Ryan took the Tylenol.

"So you want some company?" Ryan asked.

"Are you up for it? I mean do you feel okay?" Seth asked cautious.

"Seth, I just slept for five hours, I'm fine," Ryan replied.

"But your ribs, are you sure that-"

"Seth!" Ryan said maybe a little too harsh.

Ryan sighed, "Sorry… Seth, I just need normal, I need PlayStation and ninjas, I need you to be you… I'm not totally broken, Seth, I'm still Ryan even if I'm not the same Ryan…*sigh*… I just need normal."

Seth nodded, sadly, his understanding, "Me too, let's go."

"I might even let you win," Seth said with a chuckle.

"Yeah right, like you have ever needed to let me win or would you… normal, remember, which means no handicaps," Ryan smiled as he sat on the couch as Seth walk to get the second controller.

"Alright, buddy, I offered," Seth smiled as he handed Ryan the controller.

Kirsten heard laughing when she came in the house with an arm full of groceries a little while later.

"Ooh look, Ry, what happened to your head? Your head gone, brother, all gone. I bet you are wishing you took that handicap now," Kirsten smiled at hearing Seth's cheery voice.

"Bite me, Seth," Ryan countered but Kirsten could tell by his tone of voice that it was all in good fun.

She was so happy to be hearing Ryan and Seth picking on each other again, with Ryan hurt and sick and Seth confused the house had been to quiet.

"Hey boys," Kirsten called from the Kitchen as she made her presence known, "Seth, could come help with the groceries, please."

Soon Kirsten was joined by her two laughing sons.

"Hey honey, how do you feel?" Kirsten asked.

"I feel great, mom, thanks for asking," Seth replied in all seriousness as Ryan smiled and Kirsten rolled her eyes.

"That's great, honey, I'm glad," Kirsten said with a loving smile as both Ryan and Seth smiled the same goofy grin.

"And _Ryan, _how are you, honey?" Kirsten asked again.

"Okay… better," Ryan replied serious again.

"Did you eat?" Kirsten asked looking from Ryan to Seth and back to Ryan.

"I'll go grab the rest of the groceries," Seth said quickly and then disappeared.

"From Seth's reaction, I would say that the answer is no," Kirsten said eye Ryan who was once again looking at his slippers for the answers to the world.

"Ryan, look at me, please," Kirsten said softly.

Ryan did, "Sorry, Kirsten, I'm just not hungry with my stomach the way it is and then after Sandy getting the call from Jeff, it didn't sound too promising in which I lost what little appetite I had left and when I woke up, Seth told me what you said, but my ribs were hurting and I took Tylenol. My stomach still feels ugh and I just wanted to play PlayStation with Seth."

Kirsten was surprised at Ryan confessing without a fuss but then again she was dealing with Ryan, not Seth.

"Ryan, honey, you have to eat something, your stomach won't get any better if you don't eat and you can't take your meds on an empty stomach, I will not be letting you not take your medication," Kirsten tried to explain.

"But I don't even need my meds anymore."

"No, do not even go there… Ryan, you need to eat something, how about some rice, that'll be nice and easy on your stomach, okay?" Kirsten phrased it as a question but she and Ryan knew that it wasn't one.

Ryan shrugged anyway.

"Listen, how about this, when Sandy gets home he's going to want to pick up the conversation that we were supposed to have earlier and I am betting you are not too thrilled about it so I'm going to purpose a deal… if you eat the rice and drink some Sprite… ('I drank my Sprite from earlier')… that's great but you need to drink more, if you do then I will make it so that the talk does not happen tonight, giving you the night with PlayStation and Seth… deal?" Kirsten suggested as she leaned on the counter looking at Ryan across the island.

Ryan was quiet and then nodded his agreement.

"Great, sit and I'll get it for you," Kirsten said triumphantly.

Ryan sat down on the barstool in defeat.

"Seth, what are you doing?" Sandy asked his son who was on his skate board with two full paper grocery bags in his arms.

"Killing time, mom is lecturing Ryan on eating or not eating per say," Seth replied without stopping.

"Try not to kill the groceries while you're at it, please," Sandy said watching Seth as he almost fell, "or yourself for that matter."

"So Ryan didn't eat today?" Sandy asked.

"No, he slept until about 5 and then said he wasn't hungry," Seth replied and then stopped fooling around and turned serious to Sandy, "he said he just wanted normal, said that he wanted me to be me and normal so we played PlayStation until mom got home a couple minutes ago."

"What did you say when he said he wanted normal?" Sandy asked and Seth told him about the short straight to the point conversation.

"I didn't really say anything, what was I supposed to say to that? I do want normal too," Seth added after he finished.

"I want normal Ryan back so normal life can return… I miss my friend, it might be selfish but I don't care- I do but I don't- life was so much easier before all this happened. Suddenly Ryan is open and how we wished him to be with us but now I find myself wishing old Ryan: Kid Chino back… I know he's been through hell and I know he hates his new vulnerability too, but old Ryan could show up at any time," Seth tried to explain to his dad some of the things that have been on his mind the last week.

"Seth, you have to accept the fact that the 'Old' Ryan may never come back at least fully, anyway. Though this has been hell for him, it has also allowed him to lean on us more and trust that we'll be there for him like a family should, as long as Ryan is going through this we need to be there to show that we are the same even if he can't be," Sandy tried to make Seth understand; he tried to make everyone understand, including himself.

"But what if I can be, I don't know how to act around this new vulnerable Ryan," Seth replied, quietly and ashamed.

"You said that you two played PlayStation, that's the same as before," Sandy pointed out.

"Yeah and it was nice and like old times," Seth quietly smiled.

"We just have to take it one day at a time and Ryan doesn't want you to act different with him, he's still your best friend, Seth, and he needs you, so how about we take these groceries in- before we have none- and have dinner and then you boys can play your pirate game or whatever it is called… your mom and I were going to talk with Ryan but it can wait until morning, I think we all need a little normal tonight," Sandy said clapping Seth on the back with a smile.

"Yeah okay, cool," Seth said and grabbed more bags.

The Cohens ate Thai take-out while Ryan ate rice and toast, but the four of them a very nice dinner together; laughing about some wild story Seth was telling. After dinner Sandy and Kirsten cleaned up while the boys went back to their game with Ryan declaring a rematch and Seth laughing that Ryan could never beat him and trying to talk him into taking the handicap. Kirsten and Sandy enjoyed the banter back and forth between their sons as they sat at the kitchen table and did some work lightly talking too. The Cohens plus one had a wonderful night together, a night that let them forget for a couple hours about what had been going on. A night to just forget and be together like they were just a two weeks ago.

**Well I hope you liked it, will not know when the next chapter will be up because I have not even started it yet... sorry... life is hectic right now. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh boy, I haven't updated since October! EEK! Sorry about that, Holidays and exams and then the new semester starting, oopsie, sorry about that :/ Anyway here is Ch 7, not a long one but it is here! Hope you like it! Review please!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF IT!**

The next week went uneventful, Ryan was getting better every day, the nightmares still came but he didn't call out. His strength was returning even though he wasn't getting much sleep and his body was still a little sore. The police still didn't know who did it, the prison led them nowhere. Seth was not avoiding him as much and the Cohens went back to work, only for half days but they went. The officers were still parked outside the house though.

Ryan was sitting in the living room with Sandy and Kirsten sitting in front of him. They were done making deals with 'the talk' so now it was time to have it. Kirsten had spent the last week getting Ryan to eat by putting off the lecture that Sandy had coming. But Sandy was getting pressure from the police so he was done waiting even though he didn't want to hurt Ryan. He thought that Ryan would come to them willingly, but he hadn't.

"Okay Kiddo, we need to know everything about the men and that night, I know it's hard but you can tell us, we can help," Sandy started as Ryan stared at his hands in his lap.

Ryan stayed quiet, not looking at either Cohen.

"You're not in trouble, honey, you can talk to us," Kirsten said squeezing Sandy's hand.

"I… I don't know who they are… I don't remember," Ryan replied quietly still not looking up.

"Ryan," Sandy sighed, "Ryan, please look at me… thank you… we know you, Ryan, you are built to notice things that most others don't. I bet you remember everything about that night, but you're afraid to tell us, I don't know why, but you are… Kid, we just want to help, that's all," Sandy tried to make Ryan talk as gently as possible without letting him shrug them off.

Ryan looked down again, "I can't," he whispered.

It was barely loud enough for Sandy and Kirsten to hear.

"Why can't you, honey?" Kirsten asked.

Ryan sighed; he had no idea where he was going with this.

"I have to protect my family," Ryan whispered.

"Ryan, are they going to go after Dawn if you tell, is that why you're not saying anything? Because if they are I need to tell the police to protect her," Sandy asked, "we won't let anything happen."

"No," Ryan shook his head and whispered again.

"No, what honey?" Kirsten asked,

"Not Dawn," Ryan whispered and blushed.

"They said if I told the police that they would do the same to you all as they did to Trey… I'm protecting you so why can't you leave it alone?" Ryan added.

Sandy looked at Kirsten as she looked at him. Suddenly it all made sense to Sandy, everything clicked; Ryan's dream about Sandy being shot and Ryan's reaction to being at the site. Ryan had been protecting them the whole time.

"Oh Ryan," Sandy sighed.

"I can't lose you all too," Ryan whispered not looking at either Cohen.

"You're not going to, honey, it won't happen we won't let it," Kirsten said moving to Ryan's side.

"How do you know? Those… those guys, they didn't care if anyone saw, they'll do it again…how do you know?" Ryan asked still not looking up.

"Ryan, kiddo, you have to tell the police everything you know about these men, you are technically withholding evidence and you could get in trouble yourself for that," Sandy tried to make Ryan understand.

"No, I can't do that," Ryan said shaking his head.

"Ryan, honey, you have to, and we'll be with you every step of the way. We'll be there the whole time," Kirsten tried to help Sandy.

Ryan was quiet as he looked at his hands. He was quiet for a long time and the Cohens knew not to push him.

"But… what if something happens… what if they come here… I can't risk something happening to you guys, I can't put you in any more danger," Ryan whispered finally.

"We're willing to take that risk to keep _you_ safe, what if the men change their minds and come anyway, what then? Kiddo, this is the best way, I promise," Sandy said urgently with his arm over Ryan's shoulders.

Ryan got quiet again.

Kirsten looked at Sandy with sad guilty eyes as they waited. She hated forcing Ryan to do this. Sandy didn't like it much either, but he felt that it was best. He knew it was.

"They just shot him, they didn't care who saw or heard then they kicked the shit out of me… sorry… but they didn't care, they weren't scared of getting caught. They weren't scared, Sandy, and they won't be afraid to come back and do what's promised. They're dangerous; they won't think they'll just shoot like they did Trey and then what? I'll lose you and I can't. I can't. Why can't we leave it alone and go on with our lives?" Ryan asked almost begging but still not looking up.

"But we're not, Ryan… kid, you're not… the nightmares and the fear, that's not moving on. We can't live in fear forever we really do have to move on. With those men out there, we'll never be able to. When you tell the police they'll be a better chance of them catching the men because right now they don't have anything. Ryan, I promise it'll be better, this is right," Sandy replied.

"How can you promise? You don't know, you just don't know," Ryan said looking up with tears in his eyes.

"I don't know, Ryan, it's just one of those things that you have to do because it's the thing to do," Sandy replied trying not to get frustrated.

"But if I do, do it… if I talk to the police how are we going to be safe? What's going to happen?" Ryan hated being so afraid, he'd never been this afraid. He hated this new vulnerability but he couldn't fight it because he needed it. It made no sense but it was how he was now.

"We'll hire security, my father will get military security, we'll go away if we have to, no forever but on vacation until it is over," Kirsten finally spoke up again.

"Kirsten's right," Sandy agreed.

"Will I have to testify in court?" Ryan asked Sandy.

"I'll see what I can do to make it so you don't, but I can't promise anything. You may have to talk to the judge still in his chambers though. But we'll see what I can do," Sandy replied sighing again.

Ryan was quiet again, "Okay, I'll do it," he finally sighed.

"You made the right choice, kiddo, and I promise, I'll be there by your side the whole time, we all will. Let me go call Detective James," Sandy said and then stood.

"Ryan, looked at me, sweetie… it'll be okay, we'll make sure of it," Kirsten said firmly with her hand under Ryan's chin.

Ryan nodded as he looked away.

Kirsten sighed and pulled Ryan into a hug, relieved when she felt him melt into her; she'd never stop loving the way Ryan relaxed into her touch now.

Ryan felt like he had just made a huge mistake, he was sure that things would turn out bad. He still felt that this new life he had, this second chance, could be taken from him in a blink of an eye. Life gave him so much but what could stop it from taking it all away.

Ryan stayed in Kirsten's embrace until the doorbell rang.

"it's time, sweetie," Kirsten said and then kissed the top of his head.

Ryan sighed and nodded, then pushed himself up.

"Where would you like to be, detective?" Sandy was asking as he walked down the hall to the living room.

Where ever Ryan is most comfortable," Detective James replied as he followed Sandy.

"We'll stay in here then," Sandy said ushering Mark to a chair next to the couch.

Sandy sat back down next to Ryan and then Ryan started to fill the adults in the rest of the way. He told him everything about that night and about the men. He talked and Detective James wrote it all down. Sandy and Kirsten didn't leave his side; Kirsten was holding his hand and Sandy had his arm lying on his back, the physical contact giving him the reassurance. After an hour and half of questions and answers, Detective James left, a very happy person. Ryan other hand was not.

"Can I go now?" Ryan asked looking from Kirsten to Sandy. He was done socializing for today and he was too tired.

Kirsten nodded, "Sure honey, why don't you go upstairs and rest."

Ryan stood and went to his room, grateful that it was over though he knew that it really wasn't.

**Thank you! Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ooh look, an update! =O) I feel really great about this chapter and the chapter to come, for awhile there I felt as if I lost my ability to write, but it appears I did not :) **

**I want to thank you all for the wonderful reviews, they've kept me going with this story. Thanks so much but make sure you keep doing it! Please!**

**Still NO BETA! And still NOT MINE!**

Ryan was sitting at the edge of the pool with his legs in the water, not sleeping, he hadn't slept in three days; not since he talked with Sandy and Kirsten and the Detective. He sat trying to think about what he had done, he had just put the best thing that had ever happened to him at risk; he had put the people that he loved the most in danger. Seth was right; he wasn't himself; "Old Ryan" would have taken those men down by himself and not hurt anyone except maybe himself. But this "new Ryan" was afraid; afraid had never been in Ryan's vocabulary until those men killed Trey. Ryan had said it before and he'd say it again, he couldn't lose them too. The past three days, all he had done was think about how big of a mistake he made by spilling the beans about that night. Those men would come back, he just knew it.

Ryan had been sitting at the pool for the last two hours; it's what he had done the night before. The night after the discussion, he had just lain in bed all night, staring at the ceiling. The night before he watched a few movies and then sat by the pool, staring out at the ocean. Now, he just sat staring at his hands, thinking, but tries as he might, he just didn't know how to fix any of it. If he couldn't fix it by being there, he would leave, if he left then the men would have no reason to hurt the Cohens. Yeah, he would just leave.

Ryan had been walking awhile and his sore body was protesting fiercely, he was beginning to feel weaker with each step. As he focused on not falling over and tumbling down the hill, a car pulled up beside him. He turned to see Sandy and his BMW. He'd been busted.

"Get in the car, Ryan. Now." Sandy said from the driver's seat.

Ryan looked ahead down the road; he knew he didn't feel well. His body was telling him that he wasn't ready for a hike; apparently he wasn't as healed as he thought.

"Now. Ryan." Sandy said again cutting through Ryan's thoughts.

Ryan knew Sandy was pissed at him, the look and the tone of Sandy's voice told him so. Seth jokes about 'The Kirsten' but "The Sandy' is just as bad when he makes an appearance.

Ryan sighed as he opened the door on the passenger side. Once in he didn't look anywhere but down at his hands.

Sandy made a 'U' turn and he tried to calm down. He was worried about Ryan more than anything. He'd been checking on Ryan for three nights; he knew when the kid was sleeping or if he was sitting somewhere around the house. He'd been peeking out his window every once in awhile to make sure Ryan was still sitting by the pool. When the last time he checked and he saw that Ryan was gone but hadn't heard him come back inside. He knew he had taken off, it hadn't surprised Sandy; Ryan had had that distant look in his soulful eyes since they had talked to the detective. The Cohen's were waiting for something to happen, fearing that Ryan would take off to save them. No one could say that the Cohens didn't know Ryan at all because just the short time he'd been with them, they had a pretty good idea about how his thought process worked. Only learning what they knew from his actions and the few times when he would let his brick wall down. The Cohens took what they could get and from that it did not take long at all to realize how selfless Ryan is and how much he really thinks about others even if he hurts himself in the process. Ryan had been unusually quiet since the meeting and it worried Kirsten and Sandy. They knew he wasn't sleeping and knew this would happen.  
>"Kitchen. Now." Sandy said a little calmer when he pulled the driveway and shut off the BMW.<br>Ryan obeyed and led the way towards the kitchen where Kirsten was waiting, looking equally pissed as Sandy was but Ryan saw more worry than anger and then felt guilty.  
>He sat in a stool with the Cohens in front of him. There was silence and then Sandy sighed.<br>"Ryan, please explain to me why you felt the need to run? Why? Ryan, why run, when you know it gets you nowhere? Ryan, we get that you're worried about hurting us, we know and we know about you not sleeping, just explain why you would choose to run?" Sandy said frustrated at the whole situation.

Ryan stared at his hands; he really didn't feel well, his whole body hurt.

"Ryan?" Kirsten asked in frustration after he didn't answer.

"I… I… I just can't fix it," Ryan replied quietly, "I can't fix this, I don't know how to fix this and I have to… I have to fix it."

"Ryan, you don't have to… it's not your job to fix it… you did the right thing by telling us and the police the truth… You did the right thing, Ryan, I promise you," Sandy said picking Ryan's head up so he could see his eyes.

"It is though, it's my fault that you all are in this mess in the first place… if I never came here then you wouldn't be in this. So I thought if I left then things would be good again for you," Ryan protested.

"Ryan, you are fixing it by telling the police. That's the best thing you could have done for us and for yourself. Honey, you have to believe me when we say that Ryan, you did the right thing. I promise," Kirsten said placing her hand on Ryan's back. "And what is good for us is having our children here with us and yes, Ryan, that most definitely means you too. You and Seth are our boys and we do not want to lose either of you, understand?"  
>Ryan sighed he knew he wasn't going to win this' instead he looked down at his hands.<br>Both Cohens sighed when Ryan didn't respond, "we'll finish this in the morning, I think all three of us need to go back to bed," Sandy sighed.  
>Ryan stood and started for his room without saying anything to either Cohen. As he started up the stairs he was reminded how much of a bad idea leaving was by his sore body. He wanted to turn around and go get Tylenol but he didn't want to raise questions from the Cohens especially Kirsten so he continued to his room; knowing that he wouldn't sleep.<p>

The next day, Ryan stayed in bed, resting his sore body; he stayed lying there until Sandy came in to check on him.

"You sleep?" Sandy asked, though he knew the answer already.

Ryan shook his head as he stood up slowly.

"That little walk did nothing for your aches, huh?" Sandy observed as he watched Ryan move.

Ryan nodded, he didn't feel like talking.

"I see you've lost your voice in the middle of the night… well, you better find it and get downstairs in fifteen minutes, for breakfast and to finish that talk," Sandy said and then walked out.

Ryan sighed and went into the bathroom and then headed downstairs to the kitchen where Kirsten and Sandy were drinking their morning coffee. Kirsten poured Ryan a cup and he took a seat on a stool.

"Thanks," Ryan replied and then took a drink.

"Ok, Ryan, here's the deal, grounded one week and you're going to start seeing a therapist… that's it no argument," Sandy got right to it, wasting no time.

"Why a therapist?" Ryan asked not looking at Sandy or Kirsten, just down into the world of his coffee cup.

"Because, sweetie, you have to talk to someone about what happened and about what you are going through," Kirsten replied first.

"I don't need to talk to a therapist," Ryan whispered.

"You need to talk to someone and you haven't been talking to us or Seth, you're not sleeping, Ryan, you can't keep going like that, it's not healthy," Sandy said as he put two Tylenol in front of Ryan.

"Thanks," Ryan whispered and then swallowed the pills.

"You have an appointment at1:00, Kirsten will take you… please know, Ryan, that we are just trying to help, that's all," Sandy said stepping back next to Kirsten.

Ryan nodded, "I'm going to go shower."

The Cohens watched Ryan leave the room and both hoped that what they were doing would help and not hurt Ryan more.

Ryan had lost his voice again by the time they arrived at the therapist, he didn't talk at all. The therapist acted as if he knew exactly what Ryan was going through and how he felt, but Ryan knew that he had no idea. Ryan didn't talk much that night either; he kept quiet at dinner and after dinner he went to his room.

It'd been a week and Ryan still wasn't talking to the therapist and the Cohens were at a loss at what to do next. The police thought they may have a lead but weren't positive. Ryan was ungrounded and had recovered from his 2 a.m. walk, but now he needed out of the house; he felt as if he may go mad, so he went to find Seth.

Seth had been keeping a distance between them and Ryan wanted to close it again… he needed too, he needed his best friend.

Ryan knocked on Seth's bedroom door and waited for Seth to answer, they were the only ones home but it felt like only Ryan was, with how quiet the house was. A stranger wouldn't have been able to tell that Ryan and Seth were the best of friends.

"Hey, what's up?" Seth asked when he opened the door.

"Nothing, what ya doing?" Ryan asked looking down and then up at Seth.

"Nothing," Seth shrugged.

"You want to go to the pier?" Ryan suggested.

"Really?" Seth perked up a bit, "You want to?"

"Yeah, I want out of the house and I thought… maybe we could talk," Ryan shrugged.

"Yeah, let's go," Seth said grabbing his skateboard and then followed Ryan downstairs.

Ryan grabbed his bike and didn't even think about his ribs; they had been feeling good lately so he didn't think twice about his bike.

One of the men that Caleb hired to protect them stopped them as they headed down the driveway.

"Hey guys, where you headed?" Titus asked standing in front of them.

"The movies," Seth rolled his eyes.

"Let me get the car and I'll go with you," Titus said heading up the driveway.

Ryan looked at Seth and Seth at Ryan; they both took off, not waiting for Titus as they headed for the pier.

Seth laughed as he skated beside Ryan, "Just like old times."

Ryan laughed, agreeing.

Ryan felt great riding his bike in the California sun with Seth beside him as they rode down the board walk. It felt normal.

"I'm sorry," Seth said when they were sitting on a bench looking out at the ocean.

Ryan nodded, he didn't need Seth to explain, he knew why.

"It's alright," Ryan said looking at Seth and then out again.

"It's not though, you are my best friend, my brother even and I haven't been there like I should have been. I was being selfish, like normal and I apologize… you needed me and I wasn't there," Seth explained, "I didn't have your back at all like I promised I would."

"I still need you to have my back in this, Seth, it isn't over and I'm not sure it will be anytime soon… I miss my friend… my brother," Ryan said embarrassed.

"I know and I will be I promise… it just freaked me out, seeing you like you were… I've never seen you cry before and that was intense, I'm sorry," Seth replied.

"Tell me about it, I was scared too, I am scared, Seth… that's why can't sleep… I can't lose you and I'm afraid I might. Losing Trey was hard enough, but the possibility of losing you guys in astronomic, I don't know what I would do without you guys… you guys saved my life and that's something I'll never be able to repay… you and Sandy and Kirsten are my whole life now and I can't lose you… I just need you to be Seth, who talks too much about comics and Summer and who I play video games with and can talk to about anything… I just need you to be Seth Cohen," Ryan felt silly saying all this but felt like it needed to be said.

Seth nodded, " I understand."

"I can't believe that I am going to say this but I miss Seth/Ryan time… I really can't believe I just said that," Ryan said and Seth laughed.

"See, I knew you loved Seth/Ryan time," Seth smiled, cocky.

Ryan laughed at the smile on Seth's face but not for long, his laughter stopped and a look of fear took it's place.

**Sorry for the cliffy, but I had to :) Hope you liked it! Update will come soon as always I hope anyway :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**you should all feel lucky... two chapters in two days :)... I'm just as surprised as you all. Some action in this chapter, I hope you like it!**

**Thanks again for the reviews! And as always I don't own the characters and no beta!**

**Reader's discretion is advised for this one!**

"Seth," Ryan said staring at the two men walking down the boardwalk towards Seth and Ryan, "Seth, we gotta go."

"What?" Seth asked confused and then looked at Ryan who was now pale, "Ryan, what is it? What's wrong?"

"They're here, we gotta go," Ryan said standing and pulling Seth up with him.

"Who?" Seth asked grabbing his skateboard.

"The men that killed Trey, they're here… we have to go and we have to go now!" Ryan replied as he jumped on his bike.

"Oh," Seth replied and then took off following Ryan and looking behind him.

"Where are we going?" Seth asked as Ryan looked back.

Ryan didn't know, he had to think but he didn't have time to think. He figured that the men wouldn't do anything if they were around a lot of people; Ryan was all of a sudden thankful that the pier was packed today. He turned towards the diner, leaving his bike and leading Seth inside. He chose a booth close to others and pulled out his phone. His heart was beating and he was beginning to sweat as he looked up at Seth.

"What do we do?" Seth asked, just as nervous as he looked towards the door.

"I'm going to call Detective James, you call your dad," Ryan replied quickly," I think if we stay in here, they'll leave us be… they don't need the extra attention right now."

"Great idea," Seth said as he pulled out his phone.

As Ryan waited for Detective James to answer he watched as the men stood outside the diner on the other side of the boardwalk.

"Hello, this is Detective Sanchez, Detective James is unavailable at the moment, and can I take a message?" A lady answered the phone and Ryan sighed.

"I'm Ryan Atwood and its emergency, I need to speak with Detective James, right away," Ryan replied looking at Seth who was trying to get a hold of Sandy.

"He's in interrogation… is this Ryan from the open homicide case?" the detective asked.

"Yes, can you please get Detective James, tell it's me please," Ryan was almost begging.

"Yeah, just hold on a sec," Sanchez said and then there was silence.

Seth was explaining to Sandy what had happened and that Ryan was talking to Detective James. Ryan could hear the fear in Seth's voice as he kicked himself for lying to Titus.

"Ryan? Ryan, what is it?" Detective James asked once on the phone.

"Seth and I are at the pier and the men are here, they were following us. We're at the diner and they're outside. They're here," Ryan replied quickly keeping an eye on the men.

"Okay, are you hurt? Is Seth okay? I'm getting my team and we're on our way, stay put. Have you called your parents?" James asked and Ryan could hear rustling on the other end like people were hurrying.

"We're okay, Seth is on the phone with Sandy right now," Ryan replied.

"Okay, tell Seth to have Sandy stay where he is and tell him to call Kirsten too, Where is she?" Detective James instructed.

"She's at work," Ryan replied as he watched Seth who was still on the phone.

"Okay, I want everyone to stay where they are," Detective James said.

Ryan told Seth what Mark said and Seth relayed to his dad and said he would call Kirsten. Ryan figured that Sandy staying at work while they were in danger was probably not going to happen, but he hoped it would.

"Okay, Ryan we're on the way, stay on the line with me. Can you see the men from where you are? What are they wearing?" Detective James asked as his partner drove.

"Yeah, I can see them… one, the one that shot Trey, he has a dark blue t-shirt on with dark jeans and the other has a white t-shirt on a blue jeans," Ryan replied, watching the men.

"Okay, Ryan just hang on and we'll be there," James said as they got closer.

"Okay," Ryan said and looked back at Seth who was still on the phone with Sandy but wasn't talking.

"They're on their way," Ryan told Seth and Seth nodded and then told Sandy.

That must have been what Sandy was waiting for because Seth said bye and hung up.

"He's calling mom and grandpa," Seth told Ryan.

Ryan nodded.

"He's not staying put is he?" Ryan asked but knew the answer.

Seth shook his head, "He's on his way too."

Ryan nodded again.

"Ryan, who isn't staying where they are?" Detective James asked on the phone.

"Sandy, he's on his way," Ryan replied.

"I figured," James said and Ryan smiled a little.

Ryan was looking out the window while Seth watched the men.

"Ryan… ah, Ryan, they're coming in, they're coming in," Seth said as fear etched through his voice and every feature.

Ryan whipped his head towards the door and saw the men walking through it and being greeted by the hostess but they were only watching Ryan and Seth.

"Seth, let's go," Ryan said standing up and this time he didn't have to say it twice.

"Ryan, what is it? What's happening?" Detective James asked with the same frantic tone as Seth and Ryan had.

"They came in the diner," Ryan replied as he and Seth headed out the back, "We're going out the back but they're following us."

"Run, Ryan, they're coming" Seth said from behind him.

"Step on it," Mark told his partner.

"Hold on, Ryan and whatever you do stay on the line," Mark added.

"I'll do my best," Ryan said as he and Seth ran out the back door of the diner with men not far behind.

Ryan ran and made sure that Seth was running as fast as he possible could, he wasn't quite sure where they were headed, he was just running. They turned down the busy boardwalk into the mix of tourist and locals. All he really knew was that he couldn't lose Seth; he had to make sure Seth was always there with him, never splitting up. His body was beginning to ache again and he had to slow down some, becoming shoulder to shoulder with Seth.

Ryan spotted the bait shop and pulled Seth towards it, it wasn't opened yet but he knew they would be able to get in. But before they reached the back door of the Bait Shop they were both tackled.

"Hello again, Ryan, we told you we'd come," the guy who shot Trey had him pinned to the boardwalk while Seth was trying to fight of f the other guy with no success.

Ryan swung his arms to get free but only received a punch to the ribs, leaving in an immense amount of pain and out of breath.

"We've been watching you, didn't you know we'd be watching… we told you, we told you," the guy said as Ryan watched Seth, "now you get to watch as we have a little fun with your buddy here."

The guy on Seth was pulled a knife out of the holster on his belt; both Seth and Ryan's eyes went wide with fear.

"NO!" Ryan yelled but again was shut up by another punch to the gut. Ryan's guy was pressing his head against the boardwalk, making him watch as the man made slash marks on Seth's torso and Seth cried out in pain.

"No, don't" Ryan cried, closing his eyes. In result the man in blue put pressure on Ryan's bullet graze causing him to cry out in pain. He watched as the guy reached for his own knife and sliced the stitches on the wound and cried out when he reopened to graze with his knife. He dug out the stitches, taking pleasure in all the pain he was causing Ryan as his partner did the same to Seth.

While the boys were enduring an immense amount of pain behind the Bait Shop, Sandy had met up with Detective James and the police. Mark filled everyone in about the last conversation with Ryan, Sandy felt his breath hitch as Mark explained. He was glad that he got Caleb to make sure that Kirsten stayed at work. Mark had every available hand sweeping the boardwalk and blocking the parking lots and other exits to make sure no one left.

"I'm coming with you," Sandy told Mark.

"Sandy, it's best if you stay here," Mark urged.

"Detective, those are my sons and I am most definitely going with you," Sandy declared and that was it.

Mark nodded and started to search.

The boys were still being tortured by the men and their knifes when the police started their sweep of the pier. Ryan wanted to save Seth but he couldn't move. Seth was putting up a fight with the other man and Ryan was proud of him for fighting like he was. Ryan hoped things would be alright, he just couldn't lose Seth too. The man had had enough of Seth fighting it seemed because he smacked with the butt of a gun. Seth was out cold and Ryan was alone again with the two men.

"Let's see how many broken ribs we can give poor Ryan this time around," The blue man said with menace in his voice as the other laughed.

They started kicking Ryan like they had done before, Ryan turned into a ball but it didn't seem to stop the blunt of the blows. They turned him back over after working him over for awhile.

"Let's count, shall we, Bo?" the guy in the white asked the other.

Bo smiled and nodded as he pulled out his knife again, "1," he made a slash over Ryan's rib cage. He kept doing it three more time. Ryan screamed in pain.

Ryan felt fuzzy and could tell that the pain was getting to him but he held on until he heard the police arrive. After that he let go, vaguely hearing Sandy beside him but was in too much pain to reply or react, he just let himself fade away.

**I hope you liked it! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to Kerschi-Puky for sending be a message and getting me motivated to finish this one. Hope you like it! **

******Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! You guys are the best!  
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**I own nothing and have no beta!**

Ryan woke up in a hospital bed when his aching ribs wouldn't settle. It was dark with only the lights over the sink and by the monitors on. Ryan turned his head to see Kirsten asleep in the reclining chair between Ryan's bed and another. She had one hand on Ryan's leg and the other on the other bed. Ryan looked up at the occupant of the bed next to him. Ryan's breath hitched at seeing Seth in bed next to him asleep as well. Ryan had forgotten about Seth for a moment. Seth didn't look too great but Ryan betted that he didn't look too wonderful either because he sure as hell didn't feel wonderful. Seth had gauze wrapped around his head and Ryan could just make out the top of thick bandages around Seth's torso.

Ryan sighed and then decided that was a bad idea when his ribs protested sending pain throughout him. This was his fault, he should have kept his mouth shut and this never would have happened. Seth wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed; his worst nightmare had come true. He was sure the Cohens wouldn't want to adopt him now, not after putting Seth in the hospital. Ryan had really screwed up this time.

Before he could think much more, the door opened quietly and in walked Sandy. Ryan felt even guiltier at seeing his foster father looking so worried and frazzled. He looked utterly exhausted.

Sandy looked up at him and smiled, he walked to the side of the bed where Kirsten wasn't.

"Hey kiddo, how ya doing?" Sandy asked, patting Ryan's leg.

"Sef" Ryan cleared his throat, "Seth?"

Sandy followed Ryan's gaze to his other son, "He's going to be okay, Ry, you both are. Everything will be alright."

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," Ryan apologized as tears welled up in his eyes.

"No, kid, you did nothing... you did everything right, exactly right... you did great, kiddo. I know you think this is your fault but it's not, Ryan, it's not. You did great! Don't apologize, you did the right thing, those men have been arrested and have confessed to it all, it's not your fault," Sandy tried to make Ryan understand.

"B-but Seth... Seth is hurt, he's hurt badly, all because of me," Ryan pleaded, still with tears.

"Seth will heal, Ryan, he's going to be okay, I promise" Sandy urged as he ran a hand through Ryan's hair.

Ryan sighed and again regretted it.

"What's the matter, kiddo?" Sandy reacted quickly to the painful expression on Ryan's face.

"Hurts," Ryan replied through gritted teeth.

"Hold on, I'll call the nurse," Sandy said quietly as he pushed the call button.

A couple minutes later, a nurse peeked her head in the room, spotting Sandy by Ryan's bed and Ryan awake she came in all the way.

"Well hello there, sleepy head, nice to see you awake finally. I bet you're in a fair amount of pain, huh?" the nurse said as Sandy moved out of her way but didn't lose contact with Ryan.

Ryan nodded.

"I'm just going to check you over real quick and then I'll take care of the pain for you. Do you know how long you've been sleeping?" the nurse asked as she started the exam.

Ryan thought but then shook his head, "no".

"Three days. Can you tell me why you're here?" the nurse asked as she checked his vitals and IVs

"Was attacked," Ryan replied.

"Good, ok, now the not fun part, I have to check your injuries, I'm sorry, I'll be as careful as possible, promise," the nurse said sadly and Ryan just nodded.  
>She started with his arm and the deepest wound, taking off the bandage and making sure it looked okay. It didn't bother Ryan except for the fact that it was extremely tender as she re-wrapped it. After his arm she moved to his torso, pulling the blankets down to his waist and starting to take off the bandages.<p>

"We can't wrap your ribs just yet, we don't want any of them to hit a lung and cause more damage. And your breathing is a little more abnormal then we would like and wrapping them would make it worse so we just covered the knife wounds," the nurse explained as she worked.

Ryan was just staring at his torso, every inch of it was black and blue and purple. It looked gross especially when you added the knife wounds to them. Ryan was not a fan of her messing with his chest and stomach at all as he hissed in pain.

"I know, honey, I'm sorry, let me just get these new bandages on and then I'll get you some pain meds."

Ten minutes later, Sandy was back in place, running his hand through Ryan's hair.

"Has Seth been awake?" Ryan asked looking over at Seth and then back at Sandy.

"Not yet, they say it's because of his head wound, they couldn't guess when either of you would wake up," Sandy replied sadly as worry covered his face again.

Ryan just nodded, he was getting tired again, and the medicine was kicking in.

"Sleep, kiddo, we'll be here when you wake up, promise," Sandy said still running his hand through Ryan's hair.

Ryan nodded and closed his eyes.

Sandy continued the motion until he was sure that Ryan was asleep, and then he kissed his forehead before sitting back in the chair.

The next time Ryan woke up, the room was empty and still dark except for the evening sun seeping through the blinds. Ryan's arm was throbbing and his chest hurt badly, he wanted the pain to be gone, he didn't want to hurt anymore.

"Hey man," Seth said quietly from the bed next him.

Ryan turned to Seth, he still had a bandage on his head, it was smaller but it was still there.

"Hey," Ryan said in a pained voice, "how you doing?"

"Sore, but I'm okay, gotta a head ache that won't give," Seth shrugged, "You?"

"Sore too, arm hurts… Seth, I'm-"

"No, don't… you don't have anything to apologize for," Seth cut him off.

Ryan just nodded, "How long you been awake?"

"Since yesterday," Seth replied, "Yeah buddy, you've been sleeping for two days, Dad said you woke up on Monday but you've been sleeping since then. Mom says it's because you haven't been sleeping lately, that you're catching up," Seth added, reacting to Ryan's confused look.

"Speaking of parents, where are they?" Ryan asked.

"Getting something to eat, dad had to get mom out, into fresh air; I guess she hasn't left the room in awhile. They said they'd be back by 7," Seth replied as he casually flipped through the comic in his lap.

Ryan nodded and laid back to get his mind off the pain as Seth flipped through the comic book that he had read a thousand times.

Ryan watched Seth from his bed, thinking about the events that had put them there, as much as they said it wasn't his fault; he knew it was.

"Hey Seth," Ryan said and then waited for Seth to look at him.

"Yeah, buddy?" Seth replied looking up.

"We're okay… right? I mean yester… urrrr… Saturday the whole reason we went to the pier was to talk… we're okay right?" Ryan asked, nervous.

"Of course, we did talk remember… we'll always be okay, buddy," Seth replied with his goofy grin.

"Good," Ryan said smiling too.

"We really screwed up though, huh?" Seth said after a moment of silence, "I mean with lying to Titus, we should have let him come… that's why he's there, to protect us."

"Yeah, wasn't our greatest idea ever," Ryan agreed.

"I feel like a lot of our ideas aren't the greatest ever, they always have a way of getting us into trouble," Seth said again with his goofy grin.

"Yeah, they don't always work out," Ryan said.

"Even when they do, they still have a way of getting us in trouble," Seth said with a chuckle but regretted it quickly when his ribs ached.

Seth's whimper cause Ryan to laugh which made his ribs jump in pain and soon both boys were wincing in pain.

"Seth, no laughing until our ribs are totally healed, got it," Ryan ordered through gritted teeth.

"I'm with you on that one brother," Seth agreed and just then a nurse came in to do her dinner round.

"Hey boys, nice to see you both awake… I'm Paige; I'll be your nurse to night… right now I'm going to check your wounds and then administer your medication… now, who's first?" the nurse started with Seth and then went to Ryan, a half hour later both boys, were pain free and about to fall in to dreamland, once again.

The next day, Ryan woke just in time to see the morning nurse stick a vile of pain medication into his IV, he was grateful, to say the least.

"Good Morning, Blue," The nurse, who was an older lady, said when she saw that Ryan was awake. Her greeting alerted Kirsten that her son was awake.

"Hey sweetie," Kirsten said when she arrived on the other side of Ryan's bed, she took to running her hand through his hair.

"Hey," Ryan gave a small tired smile, "How long have I been sleeping this time?"

Kirsten chuckled, "Just the night, sweetie, you didn't miss anything."

"Good," Ryan said and then yawned, "Can I sit up a little, please?" Ryan was tired of lying flat.

"Sorry, blue, with your ribs and your other wounds, it's best if you stay lying flat," the nurse replied before Kirsten had a chance.

Ryan wanted to sigh but learned that lesson when he woke up the first time, "When can we go home?" Ryan whispered so only Kirsten could hear.

"Dunno, sweetie, you two have pretty significant injuries… my guess is when you are awake more than you are asleep and right now neither of you are able to do that," Kirsten replied sadly.

"He still okay?" Ryan asked turning his head towards Seth, who was asleep.

"Yes, honey, he woke about an hour ago in a some pain but nurse Kathy gave him his meds and he fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago, he's doing good," Kirsten replied.

Ryan nodded, "Where's Sandy?"

"He had to go to the station, Detective James wanted to talk to him about the case, then he had lunch with Jeff to talk about the adoption case, he should be here very soon," Kristen replied and saw the hurt and guilt in Ryan's eyes.

"I understand that you guys don't want to adopt me anymore, I understand, I hurt Seth," Ryan tried to hold in the tears but wasn't very successful.

"Oh, baby, no… we do you want to adopt, that hasn't changed and you didn't hurt Seth, those men did, not you. If anything, Ryan, you saved Seth," Kirsten replied, not skipping a beat.

"Saved him? How? He's in the hospital because of me and he fought those men, I didn't… I didn't save Seth," Ryan asked thoroughly confused.

"Baby, you called Detective James, you called him and you kept him on the line… you did great, baby… who knows what would have happened if you hadn't called detective James, you did the right thing, Ryan… you have to believe us honey, when we tell you that this was not your fault," Kirsten replied as she continued running her hand through his hair.

"B-but if I hadn't told the police in the first place, those men wouldn't have come back, Seth wouldn't be in the hospital… I shouldn't have said anything," Ryan cried.

"No, kiddo, you did it right," Sandy said from the doorway, "Listen, Ry, those men had been watching you since they killed Trey, they were just waiting for the right time to attack again, you didn't do it kiddo… they planned on coming back the whole time. You and Seth going to the pier was their opportune time and they took it. None of this was your fault," Sandy said when he walked up on the other side of the bed.

"Ryan, please believe us," Kirsten cried.

Ryan nodded, "is it all over then?"

"Not quite, you'll have to testify and Seth too… we still have court, so no, buddy, not yet," Sandy replied sadly, "But I'm going to talk to the Judge to see if he can just take your guys' statements in his chambers, save you from having to face those men again."

"That would be good," Kirsten agreed.

Ryan nodded, "I just want it all to be over with,"

"I know, honey, and it will be soon," Kirsten said and then kissed Ryan's forehead.

Ryan yawned; his pain medicine was kicking in.

"Sleep, Ry, its okay," Sandy said patting Ryan's leg.

"I don't want to though; I've been sleeping forever… I want to go home," Ryan's eyes betray him though as they slid shut with the smoothing motion of Kirsten's hand still combing through his hair.

Kirsten and Sandy smiled up at each other and then went to sit in their chairs that hadn't moved from their spots all week. They sat with their boys and talked quietly about what Detective James had said and what Jeff had. Life seemed to be looking up.

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'll try to work on the next chapter and get it up as soon as possible! Thanks for reading! and again, please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's another one and its a FLUFFER, a big fluffer :) Next chapt is the last. Thanks for all the reviews!**

**WARNING: I do not own a law degree... I have never went through the adoption process... I do not have a beta and this is one CHEESY Chapter!**

**I OWN NOTHING! THIS IS FOR PURE ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES NO PROFIT WAS MADE!**

The boys left the hospital two Saturday's after the attack occurred, they were still quite sore but they were healing up. Kirsten parked them both on the couch in the living room, so she could keep an eye on them. She forbid them from any video games until they were a little better, she knew how intense their games could get. Seth requested The Goonies so Kirsten put it in while Sandy made the boys a light lunch, both Seth and Ryan had been having trouble with some foods upsetting their stomachs, but the doctor said it was nothing to worry about so he released them with instructions to come back if their stomachs didn't settle and got too out of Sandy was preparing Ryan's favorite rice and toast. Sandy kind of chuckled to himself as he pictured the faces of his two sons when he brought them their lunch.

"What are you laughing about in here?" Kirsten asked when she came in the kitchen to get the boys some Sprites

"The boys' faces when they see what they're having for lunch," Sandy smiled a cheesy grin as he put the bowls of rice on the tray.

Kirsten smiled, "you're bad, Sandy Cohen, taking pleasure in your sons' discomfort."

"I'm not the only one, Mrs. Cohen," Sandy laughed and then led the way back to the living room.

"Lunch, guys," Sandy said as he put the tray on the coffee table and Kirsten set down the Sprites.

Both teenagers just stared at their lunch with distaste in their mouths.

"I'm not eating that," Seth was the first to speak, "the only time I eat rice is with chop sticks and a whole lot of flavor and a side of egg rolls... I'm not eating that."

"Seth, don't say egg rolls," Ryan groaned.

"Sorry, buddy,"

"Boys, you need to eat something and this is the best thing for you right now," Kirsten interfered before the boys' conversation could get out of hand.

"I'm not hungry," Ryan said and Seth agreed.

"No, uh, uh, I am not playing that game with you again, Ryan and I'm not even starting with you Seth," Kirsten said with her hands on her hips, "you both need to eat and both need to eat this and now."

Sandy's phone rang, interrupting the discussion for a moment, "listen to your mother," Sandy said and then answered his phone as he walked from the room.

"That's not a request boys, eat or no TV at all, I have to make some phone calls and do a little work. When I get back you better have eaten," Kirsten said and then left the boys to their rice and toast.

Seth looked at Ryan as Ryan looked back at him, "how bad is it?"

Ryan shrugged, "it's not terrible."

Both teenagers stared at the blah boring lunch for a moment before Ryan picked it up and started eating it and then Seth followed.

"I have to go see Otis, boys, behave and listen to your mother, when I get back I expect an explanation as to why you lied to Titus. So think about it and it better be a good one. Rest and I'll be back in a few," Sandy said walking in the living room five minutes later.

The teenagers nodded and looked back at the movie and their rice.

Sandy moved to the kitchen to tell Kirsten, "I have to go meet Otis and the Judge to see if the boys can just do their testimonies in his chambers, I'll be back in a few hours," Sandy said and then kissed her.

"Do you know the judge, will he do it? Do you think?" Kirsten asked, hopeful.

"Judge Winston Bradford, he's a softy when it comes to kids being attacked. I think he'll go for it. I gotta go meet them at the country club, I love you," Sandy replied.

"I love you too, see you soon."

Sandy had been right; Judge Bradford understood and set up a time for both boys to meet with him in his chambers with Otis, Sandy and the Defense attorneys, Kirk Allen and Melissa Harrington. The testimonies would be videotaped and written down and the only ones to see them would be the jury. They would take place the day before the trial start now Sandy had to get the kids ready for it, especially Ryan who would have to talk about the night Trey was killed and the day he and Seth were attacked. Sandy just knew it wouldn't be easy for him.

When Sandy returned home, he found his sons asleep on the couch and Tom and Jerry playing the TV. Sandy chuckled as he looked at his sons and then watched the old classic for a moment.

"Poor old' cat never gets his guy," Sandy said shaking his head and being thankful for the detectives catching their guys. Though like Tom they had to endure some hits along the way. Sandy shook it off and went to find his wife.

"Hey hon." Sandy said walking into his office where Kirsten was doing some work. "what ya doing in here?"

"Hi, I was getting some phone calls and didn't want to disturb the boys. How'd it go?"

"Good, excellent," Sandy explained to Kirsten everything that was said and what would happen.

"That's great," Kirsten smiled.

"Did they eat?" Sandy asked.

"Most of it, they've been sleeping for over an hour now though. Seth wanted to watch Hell Boy but Ryan and I decided that we've had enough violence so they found a Tom and Jerry marathon and both agreed that it was safe," Kirsten replied.

"Yeah when I walked in Tom was blowing Jerry's home into smithereens or was trying to, it back fired and instead blew Tom up. Yeah, no violence at all in Tom & Jerry," Sandy laughed.

"Yeah, but Tom always survives, guys in Hell Boy don't, and it's funny in Tom & Jerry," Kirsten chuckled.

"True."

"Oh, Jeff called said he has an answer from Judge Kelly, but he said he would wait until you got home," Kirsten remembered as she flipped through blueprints.

"Yeah he called and left a message on my phone to call him," Sandy said as he pulled out his phone as Kirsten's rang.

She spoke heatedly with a contractor and then hung up with a huff.

"I have to go to the model home down in Balboa, I'll bring dinner, Italian ok? Tell me what Jeff says," Kirsten said as she packed up.

"Italian is great and I'll wait to later to call Jeff when you're home," Sandy smiled at how frazzled Kirsten looked.

'God, I love her,' Sandy thought to himself still smiling.

"Ok, I'll call when I'm on my way, I won't be too long because of the boys. I love you," Kirsten said and the kissed him and left.

"Love ya too," Sandy called after her and then turned to go join the boys and Tom & Jerry in the living room.

"I don't know if I can do this, Sandy," Ryan said sitting outside Judge Bradford's chambers waiting to be called back two weeks later.

"Ryan, all you're doing is going in there and having a conversation with the judge. You can do it and if you get nervous or something, don't worry, I'll be there for you every step of the way, I promise, kiddo," Sandy gave one of his little pep talks.

"Just remember, Ry, whatever we say in there just adds to the life sentence they're already getting. They confessed to it all so we just have to go in there and tell them our side. No big deal, buddy," Seth tried even though he was freaking out too.

Ryan just nodded. 'I don't think I can relive it all again,' Ryan thought to himself as he stared at the floor between his shoes. 'For Trey though... I would.'

"Sandy, Ryan you're up first," Otis said when he opened the chamber doors.

"Alright, kiddo, let's go... Seth sit tight, you're next," Sandy told his sons as he stood up.

"Sandy... I ..." Ryan started but stopped and just put his head in his hands with a sigh.

Otis and Seth looked at Ryan and then back at Sandy, waiting.

Sandy stepped back to Ryan and knelt in front of him.

"Ryan, look at me, buddy, please," Sandy said with his hands on Ryan's shoulders.

Ryan looked up and Sandy could see the weight of the world in his watery eyes, he just wanted it to be all over. He wanted his family's sense of security back, Hell, he wanted his family back. He wanted the pain to be gone from his sons' eyes.

"I can't do it all again, the nightmares and... All that blood, Sandy, there was so much of it and I can't get it out of my head... I can't, I'm sorry," Ryan said and then stood and walked away, leaving the other three stunned.

Sandy stood to follow him.

"No, dad let me do it, maybe it'll work better," Seth said and followed Ryan.

Seth found Ryan outside on the court house steps; he walked down and sat next to his brother.

"Hey buddy," Seth said and patted him on the back.

Ryan didn't say anything; he just sat and stared over all the people.

For once Seth was quiet and waited for Ryan to start the conversation.

"I don't know why, I'm being like this, I know what we're doing is good and will help give the bastards what they deserve for taking my brother away and for beating the shit out of us, out of you... I just... I just don't know how to go in there and talk all about it and not break down and become a mess like I was that night. I don't want to go back to that, I've been trying for weeks to get that scene out of my head and now I have to bring it all back again. Not something I am looking forward to," Ryan said finally but didn't look away from the people.

"But think of all the good things that will come out of this, the men will be put away for forever, Titus and the rest of those guys will be gone and we can go anywhere without big burly guys walking behind us. We can really move on and get on with our lives with this behind us. Trey will get his justice that he deserves and we deserve. We could finally put Trey to rest and give him a service. We can sleep, Ry, I mean really sleep like we use to, like until noon. We won't have to worry about if our friends and family are safe because they will be. You can go back to school... I haven't decided if that is a good one or not. All these things are good things, and if we do this we make the chance of these guys going to prison for the rest of their lives not able to hurt us or anyone else ever again, we make that chance a whole lot greater," Seth replied, looking at Ryan.

Ryan was quiet again for awhile and Seth just waited.

"But then Trey will be really gone and I don't know if I can handle that," Ryan whispered almost ashamed as he looked down, "my brother will be gone, the only one who has ever been there for me, will truly be gone."

"I'm sorry, Ry, I really am... But I'm here and I'd die for you to consider me your brother like I do you... I'll be there. I know I can be self- centered and all and I wasn't a great brother through all of this but I'll change, for now on no more Selfish Seth... I know I've said it all before but I've never meant it as much as I mean it now. I promise, Ry, I'll be different and I'll be there whenever you need me, I promise. You just gotta let me be and I don't mean that I would take Trey's place because I would never and could never. I just want you to let me be your brother and I promise I'll be there. I may not be great at it but I'll sure as Hell try... We all have to say goodbye sometime, and when you say Trey was the only one who had ever been there for you or cared about you... It's not true, it's just not. You have us, Ry, you have us and we'll always be there. Don't you see, papers or no papers, proof or no proof, you're part of this family and that my friend... _Brother_, will never change. I promise, Buddy, you're a Cohen we have a stocking to prove it if we need to," Seth thought maybe that was a little cheesy but went with it anyway. He waited again for Ryan's response.

"Anyone would be proud to call you brother, Seth, especially me," Ryan said and finally looked up at Seth, surprised to see tears in his eyes.  
>Both boys stood and wiped at their eyes.<p>

"So you are going to do this? Remember dad will be with you the whole time and if you feel yourself losing control just remember all the good things that are coming out of this," Seth said as he walked with Ryan up the stairs and back into the court house.

"Thanks, Seth, thanks," Ryan said with a genuine smile on his face.

"No problem, buddy, any brother would do the same," Seth smiled.

Ryan nodded and ducked his head, hiding a smile.

When they returned to Judge Bradford's chambers, Sandy and Otis were talking outside it.

"You guys okay?" Sandy asked and tried to size up their feelings.

Ryan nodded.

"We're perfect," Seth smiled and nodded.

"Ryan, if you want we can reschedule," Sandy said looking at his youngest.

"No, we can do it now. I'm okay thanks to Seth and I want to get this over with," Ryan said without hesitating.

"Alright, great, let's head in," Otis said and the rest nodded as Seth took back the seat he had been occupying.

"Good luck, buddy and remember what I said," Seth said and then the trio headed in.

Despite Ryan's fears he did great. He spoke with the judge for an hour and fifteen minutes before returning to the hallway. It took another ten minutes for them to get ready for Seth. Seth was behind the door with Sandy and the others for 45 minutes before both Sandy and Seth returned.

"Can we get out of here now?" Ryan asked hopeful as he looked at Sandy.

"Yeah, I'm starving, can we please blow this Popsicle stand," Seth said also looking at his father.

"In a minute guys, let we speak with Otis and check. Then we'll go get lunch at the Crab shack to something," Sandy chuckled at his sons and then turned back to talk to Otis.

Five minutes later he returned and the Cohen men left.

"You know Seth, you sounded a lot like the old man back there, you did great with your little pep talk," Ryan picked on Seth while they waited in the car for Sandy to come out of his office.

"Yeah, just don't tell anybody and when the eyebrows start coming in you better warn me, or we are no longer brothers," Seth said from the back seat.

Ryan laughed out right and felt really great about the whole day.

When Sandy returned to the BMW the boys were laughing, Sandy slowed his pace to enjoy the sound, something he had been doing a lot of lately. Things he took for granted before was now music to his ears.

"What are you two up to?" Sandy asked when he got in.

"Nothing," both boys replied and sandy eyed them suspiciously.

"Uh huh, what were you laughing about?" Sandy asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"You," Seth replied from the back seat.

"ME?" Sandy asked so surprised that his voice went high, making the boys laugh harder.

"Yeah, you," Seth replied as Ryan.

"I was telling, Seth, that back at the court house that he sounded a lot like you," Ryan explained to the confused older man.

"Yeah and I told Ryan to warn me when the eyebrows started coming in," Seth laughed.

"You know-"

"Yes we know… Eyebrows are a sign of power," Seth and Ryan replied at the same time with a roll of their eyes.

"Love you boys too," Sandy chuckled.

Later that night the boys were playing ninjas and pirates while Sandy and Kirsten readied dinner and waited for Jeff to get there. Finally after all the other stuff was taken care of they would find out what Jeff had to say about Judge Kelly. Jeff had said it was good, but neither Cohen parent knew exactly how good.

"I'll get it," Seth called throughout the house when the door bell rang.  
>Ryan stood to turn of the play station and then went to the kitchen, arriving when Seth and Jeff were.<p>

"Hey all," Jeff greeted with a smile.

"So what's the news?" Seth asked, not one that is good with patients.

"Let's get the food on the table and sit down and then we'll talk," Kirsten said, leading the way to the dining room with and the men following.

Once everyone seated and had started eating or pushing around their food, Jeff began to speak, "Judge Kelly terminated Dawn's rights, saying since she abandoned Ryan more than once. She doesn't really have a right to fight for him and since this is what Ryan's wants she signed off on it. Here are the adoption papers, she's signed them so all you two have to do, Sandy and Kirsten, is sign them and it will be official. Ryan will be a Cohen."

"Awesome!" Seth said excited as the table smiled and felt relieved.

Ryan was smiling too but looked down at his hands. What he had wanted for a while now had finally happened. Ryan didn't think it ever would but was truly happy that it had. He had a family, a family that cared about him and loved him maybe more than his own parents ever had. In the wake of all this tragedy came a silver lining. He was a Cohen.

"Its official, Ry," Sandy said with a giant smile on his face.

Ryan nodded.

"You really are a Cohen now, let the life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt begin," Seth laughed, remembering back to the first time he had said that to Ryan.

Ryan laughed too.

"We couldn't be happier," Kirsten said with tears in her eyes.

"Uh oh, mom's getting all sappy on us," Seth said and the boys laughed.

"Congratulations," Jeff said as he watched the family.

"You're now Ryan James Cohen."

Ryan figured that was the greatest thing he had ever heard.

**Hope you liked it, I did! Please continue the wonderful reviews! I'll try my best to get the last chapter up soon! Thanks so much!**


	12. Chapter 12

**So I wasnt extremely happy how I ended this story origianlly, so I decided to add a chapter... hope you like it and thank you all for the reviews and the favorites!**

**I own nothing belonging to The O.C.**

Kirsten watched as her boys played around in the pool; it had been almost a year and the only things reminding them of that horrible time were the scars. Both boys carried permanent marks from the injuries they sustained.

Kirsten had picked up the habit of checking on the boys at least once a week, on some nights her heart would skip a few beats when she saw Ryan's bed empty. Kirsten would then find him downstairs in the kitchen doing homework or in the living room watching old movies. Nightmares still racked his body occasionally, but for the most part everything was back to normal.

Kirsten laughed as she watched her sons trying to pull their father into the pool with them. Sandy had just got home from work and was still in his suit. She laughed watching the boys as they succeeded, her laugh deepened as the boys busted up laughing. It was those laughs that Kirsten no longer took for granted. Both boys had their head thrown back as Sandy flailed and tried to get his bearings back. The boys soon realized this was happening and headed for the edge of the pool to make a run for it. Seth went one way and Ryan went the other. Sandy made chase for Ryan, Ryan headed Seth's way and both boys made a break for the pool house, locking Sandy out.

Kirsten was enjoying the whole thing, Sandy went inside to retrieve the keys from his office, Kirsten watched to see what the boys would do next, soon she had her answer when Seth and Ryan tiptoed out, making sure the coast was clear first. The boys ran to where she was sitting and grabbed their towels, they could see Sandy coming out of his office, they sprinted passed the kitchen and around the house. Kirsten stood and hurried into the house to see it all pay out, she was standing in the living room when both boys burst through the door and took the stairs two at a time with Sandy right behind them.

Kirsten went to the kitchen to figure out what to order for dinner, she was calling for Thai when Sandy returned quietly.

"Did you give up, honey?" Kirsten asked once off the phone.  
>"Oh no, honey, I'm looking for the most opportune time," Sandy smiled wickedly and then turned to go change.<p>

Kirsten shook her head and smiled.

Five minutes later, she was looking over work documents when she saw the boys peaking around the corner.

"He's not in here boys," Kirsten smiled but didn't look up from her work.

Ryan and Seth took one last look before entering.

"Playstation, bro?" Seth asked Ryan after grabbing two sodas from the fridge.

"Sure why not," Ryan shrugged.

The two teenagers went to the den as Sandy was entering the kitchen quietly, carrying the controllers to the Playstation.

Kirsten shook her head.

"Looking for these?" Sandy asked holding up a controller in each hand.

"Oh c'mon, dad, you don't mess with the Playstation, it's a sacred thing," Seth whined.

"Yeah, you don't have enough game to handle those," Ryan smirked.

"Oh really now, well I think these little guys want to take a trip, maybe to the pool or maybe even the ocean," Sandy said trying to be serious.

Sandy turned for the patio doors, "Wait! NO! Stop!" both boys said running after Sandy.

Sandy turned with a smile.

"What's your price?" Ryan sighed.

"hmm… say I'm the coolest, most rad dad in the world and that I am so good, I make your Playstation unworthy of my talent, oh and get on your knees and bed for my forgiveness for throwing me in the pool," Sandy was enjoying this way too much.

"Aw dad, c'mon," Seth and Ryan both groaned.

In response, Sandy turned back to the patio, "No! We'll do it," the boys yelled as they fell to their knees.

"You're the coolest dad in the whole world! We wish we had as much game as you! Please, please, forgive us for pulling you into the pool, we're so sorry, it will never happen again!" The boys recited as Kirsten and Sandy held in their laughter.

"We're even now, go play," Sandy smiled and handed each boy a controller. The boys rose and ran to the den again.

Sandy and Kirsten hugged and kissed passionately.

"Will you go get the food for me, I need to finish some paperwork," Kirsten asked.

"Sure, I'll grab a movie too."

"Sounds good."

Sandy kissed Kirsten again before leaving.

Kirsten sat down at the kitchen table so she could spread out her work, she sat doing her work and listening to her boys throwing jabs at each other as they played.

Yes, everything was back to normal but not the old normal, it was a new normal. Ryan being adopted, becoming a Cohen had changed him completely. The events of almost a year ago had brought them closer, and made them stronger. For the first time ever, Ryan's walls were down and Kirsten was positive they were down for good. Seth's say of "life of insecurity and paralyzing self doubt" went quite the opposite for Ryan. Ryan had the security that he had been searching for his whole life. He knew, really knew for the first time that Sandy and Kirsten would take care of things and trusted that they would never abandon him. Ryan's self-esteem was up since becoming a Cohen. It felt like Ryan had been a Cohen since the day he was born. Kirsten wished for a day where Ryan could call them mom and dad, when he could relate those words back to something good. Kirsten knew that Ryan considered them his mom and dad and that was enough until Ryan was ready.

They could finally sit back and relax and just be the family they were meant to be. They didn't have to worry about social services coming if something happened, oh Kirsten knew something would happen it just came with the territory. Her boys always seemed to find trouble one way or another. The difference now, they handled it as a family without the fear of Ryan being taken away. That's what Kirsten loved most; Ryan was theirs and no one could ever change that.

**"Anyone who does anything to help a child is a hero to me." Mr. Rogers**

**Thank you all for following and reviewing! It is now complete!**


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